Speaking Up For A Change???

Hello ladies and gentlemen…

I’ll have to digress a bit tonight. There’re times I often wonder whether being silent and mistaken for a fool is better than talking out loud. Why am I suddenly unsure, which is which? Growing up, I come from a home where voicing your opinion on any issue is a God given right. We all spoke freely at home and none was ever judged for speaking up, by my parents. Lol! There were ocassional reprimand, if one spoke out of tune or was rude.

Well…recently, there has been so many incidents that made me wonder if my upbringing was being questioned. Being in a Country where everyone wants “changes” made by the Government, yet everyone chooses his/her words “so” carefully. I remember vividly being sent to a particular  meeting by my former boss recently, where I questioned a particular data given as an update. I could feel the loathsome glare of every participant at the meeting on me-they were affronted- that I didn’t shut my mouth and behaved as expected of me, “a mere low level officer”.Well…I dug my foot in…it was obvious I’d stepped out of line, didn’t confound myself to the status quo. 

The above scenario came to mind during the youth protest in my Country Nigeria. There’s something I’ve discovered about a people or anyone who hardly complains about issues. Most times, the anger, pain, distrust, are kept well hidden and could be set off easily, once it couldn’t be endured anymore. If not, why would anyone in Nigeria protest over “Police Brutallity”? The shock, blew my mind. There’re so many reasons a Nigerian youth should protest. The list of what’s needed for “change” is staggering. Where does one begin? Now- hear me out. Years back, I remember not being able to go home due to insecurity in my city. There were years I couldn’t even travel to my home town. The danger were so real, you’d be foolish to travel along the road, long route home. Those that flew on airplanes, won’t know what I’m talking about- you weren’t robbed on air.

The thing is- it takes bravery to rise up and speak boldly to the authority of any nation, when things are not done as it should- so the bravery of standing for one’s right should be applauded- but what you fight for should leave a bold mark for the next generation…something a daughter or son, would hear someday and admire his/her parents boldness to make a difference, to make things better than they were.

My point is- there’re issues worth fighting for in our Country, the Western world have their culture, and well-planned structure on ground, that made them who they’re. The things we do, should be tailored according to our own needs. The realities on ground. The greatest issues ever had in our Country are; Insecurity, Bad Goverance, Corruption,  Unemployments, bad roads, poor road networks, dilapidated healthcare, pension frauds, poor power supply, Police extortions etc. These are problems staring at an average Nigerian face. The anger boils, because an average Nigerian suppresses his/her feelings. This hidden anger could be more dangerous than a landmine, if not addressed urgently. It’s no longer about what set off the fuse- instead, what was done to avoid a catastrophic outcome.

How can we achieve our goals, which is to be better, by destroying “our” own little efforts to develop a Country to be proud of- any day, anywhere?

Is There Relevance To Cohabiting?

Hello ladies and gentlemen…

My today’s topic says;

Is There Relevance To Cohabiting?

Well, I don’t mean to be a kill-joy this morning but I have often wondered. What are the benefits? Gentlemen/ ladies, why is it becoming a norm among the youth? Personally, I don’t see the need of cohabiting before marriage, especially for the girls. Playing “wife” to a man whom one isn’t  married to may not automatically make one “the wife.”

This trend is so common among the youths in the higher institutions. I maybe wrong but is it necessary for partners in a relationship to live together whether in school or not? I know this is the 21st century. I’m also aware it’s quite normal in a civilized world where things work. Such as in the western world. Where some date while in high school. May even marry shortly after high school. Get jobs and start their own family. Some in these countries also pick part-time jobs althrough college, save a little  then marry after college. Although those that went to school on scholarship would still be paying off school loans for a while but at least they wouldn’t be idle or jobless.

That’s where we get it wrong in this part of the world. Here in Africa, the scenario painted above isn’t viable. As a young lady, the young man you are dating in school, most likely doesn’t earn money or have any savings that amount to anything for the future. He’d  finish and still search for job probably for years if he’s unlucky or get one with a lousy paycheck and may still not save much or be ready to settle down in the next 5/6yrs. These facts, if nothing else may still breakup your relationship.

As this becomes apparent to the lady in such relationship. She begins to see how unrealistic it had all been. That’s not all…haa! You wish! As it dawns on her…she’s backing the wrong tree. The societal pressure sets in. It begins to dictate to her what’s obtainable or not. The choices would now be made dispassionately if she’s a conservative type.

What am I saying here? Well…we are quick to pick what works everywhere else but here in Africa. The question is, shouldn’t we know already things that wouldn’t work? They have systems that works in their societies. If you cohabit and it results to a pregnancy/child. There are schemes in place by the government for such happenstance. Such as social security benefits, child support if things didn’t eventually work out for the two as  couple.

I’d direct my question today to the young men/women cohabiting presently. What’s the relevance of your living with your partner? Where do you see yourselves in the next five years in this economic quagmire? If it results to pregnancy/pregnancies, could you cope? What are your contingency plans for such possibility?

I don’t know the reasons why it’s done or why those that participate in it, think it’s in anyway advantageous. Could it be to cut costs? To share the living expenses? But I do know the young lady involved would be the one making most of the sacrifices involved both emotionally and otherwise. For instance, if it results to pregnancy. It is her body involved not his. The bulk of decision making would rest solely on her, on what to do about the pregnancy. She’d begin to worry about things she shouldn’t be concerned about at this stage until after her education.

The bigger issue is even the distractions. Living a couple’s life when both should be focused more on lectures, term papers, regular youthful life and such. I just don’t get it. Is it becoming rampant because it’s the trend or beneficial in some ways I’m unaware of?

From where I stand the pros to this practice are not just visible but the cons are littered all over the place. Especially for the young ladies. I’ve heard severally- “it’s to get to know him/her better;” “a step closer to the huge step of becoming a married couple.”  Or “it’s quite realistic…its relevance is to see how well or not we cohabit as partners before the huge step.” If he/she’s a pretender/ illmanered, problematic, troublesome you’d get to see it. Hmm mm…? If it works, how come we see couples that dated for years breaking up just after about a year or two in marriage?

Young men and ladies, I definitely don’t want to kill your mojo. Uhm…whatever you have going-but I’d  like you to ponder on my questions. If there are benefits for cohabiting with your boyfriend/girlfriend. Do share it with me on here. I’d be thrilled to receive it. At least you’d  have quenched my curiosity.

What’s your thoughts on this topic? Share your views with me on here. I’m quite eager to hear it.

 

 

 

 

 

Social Media Craze/”Bizarre?”

Hello ladies and gentlemen…

I will digress a bit today. My topic today says;

Social Media Craze/”Bizarre?”

Uhm… am I the only one feeling a bit uncomfortable with the worrisome attitude of lots of people on the social media?

Now, what is social media about? English dictionary defines it as; “interactive forms of media that allow users to interact with and publish to each other, generally by means of the internet”. Well, that was simple enough.

There’s this uncanny feeling I get when I see the extent to which people have gone via these interactive means.

Internet is probably the greatest means of interaction ever created and has pros too numerous to count. Well… the cons? Ah ha! That’s what I’m focusing on today.

Some grown-ups, now live “right inside” the Internet. Lol. Normally two adults fight, make up, no one knows or cares. These days? Haha…you wish. I can’t count how many times I have come across a parent advising his/her child on a page on the net. Either after wishing them well or congratulating them. Hmm…what-the-heck happened to phone calls?

Some couples put all their lives on the pages of social media network. This wouldn’t matter at all, if some would be mature enough not to also wash their dirty laundry in the “net”(public). What happens to keeping certain aspect of one’s life “private?” Would that be excruciatingly beyond one’s capability?

Accident occur on a highway traffic and the first thing on someone’s mind at the scene, is taking pictures to upload on the net. For what purpose exactly? Such callousness!  I have a question for those that perpetuate such act. If your sibling or parent was involved in that accident, God forbid. Would you still be interested in snaping their last minutes on earth and pasting on “your” page? Better still, how would you feel if some random”empty brain” does that to your loved one?

The other day, I saw a page where a young man pasted a picture of a dead young man on a slab in a morgue. He “claimed” to be mourning his “dear” friend. The gruesome picture was disheartening. The height of foolishness. How could he do such to a bereaved family? Forcing the gory details down their throats was a wicked act if you ask me.

Young men and women are not left out. Youthful exuberance. Lol.  Cat fights, nude pictures and all, now carried on to the stage…. incriminating videos flying left and right.

It’s all good, no one is perfect. What makes me cringe is the fact that it seems a lot of people have forgotten one unsettling fact. The Internet “never” forgets! Lol. It’s unlike books records that could be damaged; misplaced; or buried deep. Here, just a click… the rest is history.

Let’s not abuse these wonderful interactive means of exchange between people; have fun and be merry. Let’s be sensitive and careful always.

Do have a wonderful week, you all!

 

 

Is Desperation The Solution? 

Hello ladies and gentlemen…

Today I’m going to touch one of those sour spots we hate to talk about out there again. My topic today says;

Is Desperation The Solution? 

Let’s quickly find out what this word “desperation” is about. The English dictionary defines desperation as;(1)  “the act of despairing or becoming desperate”;  “a giving up of hope.” (2) ” A state of despair, or utter hopeless; abandonment of hope; extreme recklessness; reckless fury.”

Hmm…the definition of this word alone, makes me shudder. It gives me goose bumps, just the thought of someone living his/her life in such state of mind. Sadly, societal pressure has made desperation almost a norm in our society. Having reckless abandon in the pursuit of our desires have become a norm. Desperation isn’t a gender thing. Anyone could become desperate, depending on one’s fervent desire to accomplish a particular goal. A society where a particular set are viewed as failures; losers; nonentities. These set are constantly looked down upon. The desperation to achieve what garners “respect” to others becomes a norm.

For instance most unmarried ladies these days, will do whatever it takes to tie the knot,  become a “Mrs.” This is because the society has made it appear as  the most prestigious title a woman should have before any other. Unmarried women are mostly lumped in as wayward or indecent for being single still at a certain age. Disheartening….

That’s not all. Men are under pressure too, to acquire wealth. A status that should take years of hardwork to achieve. The youth in their quest to make their mark and be accepted and accorded “respect” in the society, do a lot of despicable things, that at times leads to death, in desperation. A bachelor of certain age is also viewed as irresponsible for daring to remain single. No one is interested in the “why.”

How’s desperation the solution? I’m asking this question because I have noticed people get furious with anyone they perceived as “not desperate”, especially if you are unmarried and yet, doesn’t exhibit any of the known attribute of those in a hopeless situation, such as recklessness; being depressed, miserable etc.

My question this evening is this; Can someone explain to me how being desperate solves our problems? Take a look at our political setting today. Desperation has made politics a do or die affair. Most in our society will do just about anything to win. What comes after the win? Hmm…mm?

The quest to marry at all cost has destroyed our core values. Nobody cares anymore about the seriousness of the venture. The end “now” justifies the frigging means. Lol.

A lot has been damaged in our various societies  due to desperation. This has caused so much pretense in our today’s youth. They comport themselves in a certain manner, just to get what they want instead of being themselves or working on themselves to be better as the case should be.

These are what desperation does; It puts you in a state of despair; you become extremely reckless; no caution whatsoever;not thinking straight; you would swallow any nonsense solution thrown your way. You are thrown wide open for extortion, manipulation, abuse,untimely death even, all in the name of searching for “any” solution to your perceived problems. Caution is thrown to the winds. Some become life casualties… if not now, later in life.

My advice to us all this evening is to fight the feeling of despair in whatever situation we find ourselves in life. It solves nothing in the long run, it only somehow compound the problems.

That’s all I have to say this evening ladies and gentlemen. What’s your view on this? Share it on here, others could learn from it.