What Matters Most???

Hello ladies and gentlemen…

Aww…it feels good to be back! It’s been awhile. Well, my today’s topic says;

What Matters Most???

My fellow ladies out there above 30yrs of age, don’t get me wrong. I’m not implying that marriage isn’t important. Heck! I’m not even suggesting it’s not necessary. All I’m saying is – it would only be worth it, with the right partner. Over the years, I’ve come to realize that getting married is the major goal of most of our women. Don’t get me wrong. I’ve been accused of many things including being “sick”. Lol! As a reason I’m not married yet. Hahaha…I’m hale and hearty people! All I’m saying is -“should it be”?

A lot of our women rush into marriage, through desperation. Some, become miserable for the rest of their lives maybe because of a wrong decision made or by being in an abusive marriage. I see any woman getting hitched as brave. Yeah…I’m being honest here. I understand too well,   that marriage isn’t a bed of Roses. Also I know it could turn out well. So I’m aware that anyone venturing into it, has to be optimistic to an extent a team player, to make it work.

Here’s the crux of the matter, should it be the “yard stick”? Shouldn’t women dare to be more? Should “Mrs” be the only identity a lady should aspire for? If that is so, why acquire skills; advanced knowledge? These days when I hear bits and pieces of conversations from our young ladies, all I feel is despair. There’s this blatant lack of focus on anything but marital aspiration. Marriage is important. I want that too, just like every other lady out there but should it be the only goal a woman should aim for in life? What if it turned out not to be enough?

I started Kareninspirational to unburden some of the thoughts I often had in my head. I wanted it to be a means to reach out to like minds and interact. Ladies!!! Let’s dare to be more! The right man will come, when he comes. Our lives occupation shouldn’t be running around like headless Chickens, auditioning and in search for men. The right man will locate you. Lol! It is even in the scriptures. Hahaha…

Did I Advocate Promiscuity??? Hell No!!!

Hello ladies and gentlemen…

 

Some months back I talked about situations that might have aided insecurities/uncertainties that so many ladies in our society faces in their various relationships . And why a lot of the singles out there now “heed” to this advise; https://kareninspirational.com/2017/03/23/all-eggs-in-one-…u-for-or-against/

-which ordinarily isn’t ideal. The post being referred to was titled-

“All Eggs In One Basket/ Are You For Or Against???”

Personally, I detest unfaithfulness in a relationship. It’s just not in me to ignore irresponsible/unruly behavior in a relationship, unless I’m unaware. Be that as it may, a lot depends on how the perpetrator viewed his/her action.​

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However, that’s not what this post is about.  A comment on my Facebook page  Kareninspirational For Singles-  got to me. I’d like to explain more here. Although I replied, I felt he still didn’t get what I was on about at the time. I’d intended then, to respond through a new post- knowing well,  he might not had been the only one who misunderstood the previous post, but other things got in the way. So, here we are;
It was just that single question. But was it loaded?! Lol! He asked why I gave such offensive advice, “encouraging people to cheat in their relationships,” paraphrased. He asked what I intended to achieve. “It was deceitful of me”. He quipped.  Well… I responded by advising him to peruse the article again to grasp what it was truly about.

What got to me however was how men are quick most times to defend oppressive “norms” in our society. Which mostly work in their favour. Some of the defensive techniques now being displayed by some female folks were improvised to cub the thoughtless and callous attitudes of some men.

​As a single lady in my opinion, if the relationship isn’t serious, no commitments whatsoever. Why hang on to it? Even if you’re engaged. Do you aspire to become “Lord of the Rings?” There has to be a reasonable period of time, you could wait for someone.  Move on if commitment isn’t forthcoming. Don’t lie to yourself, if things aren’t working out, you can feel it already. Don’t be desperate. Don’t force yourself on someone who has made you an option or a backup strategy. The thing is- eventually you may regret it. If you found the courage to move on- never allow yourself to be blackmailed. Some will psych you into believing it didn’t work because you left. Really?


The hard truth is- some spend years in a relationship only for a partner to break up, leave at the doff of a hat, with some flimsy excuse or without any in some cases. Now- place a lady that entered such a relationship at 24/25yrs of age in this scenario- say 3 to 4yrs later. She’s left to start afresh, to cultivate a new relationship from the scratch. Say, she’s 28/29yrs or thereabout at this time. Why should this lady hang on to you or date you exclusively for two/three yrs if you’d refused discussing where the relationship was headed?
https://kareninspirational.com/2017/03/23/all-eggs-in-one-…u-for-or-against

On this particular post above, I didn’t actually  advocate promiscuity ” Not putting all the eggs in one basket.” Doesn’t necessarily mean cheating. A lady could date casually, no intimacy or all that. All she needs is to be open minded.  The  aim for dating is to know a bit more about the person. However I pointed out that I totally grasp the reasons behind not  wanting to be exclusive with someone who’s uncommitted to the relationship.

​Has anyone noticed how vocal and agitated some men become if anything or anyone threatens the paradigm? The status quo? It  baffles me that someone who failed to define his relationship after a year or two would feel he’s entitled to exclusive relationship, when he has made absolutely no iota of commitment to that relationship. Shouldn’t that be likened to one “eating his cake and having it still?”

What’s your view on this issue? Do share it with me on here. Have a wonderful day you all!