What Matters Most???

Hello ladies and gentlemen…

Aww…it feels good to be back! It’s been awhile. Well, my today’s topic says;

What Matters Most???

My fellow ladies out there above 30yrs of age, don’t get me wrong. I’m not implying that marriage isn’t important. Heck! I’m not even suggesting it’s not necessary. All I’m saying is – it would only be worth it, with the right partner. Over the years, I’ve come to realize that getting married is the major goal of most of our women. Don’t get me wrong. I’ve been accused of many things including being “sick”. Lol! As a reason I’m not married yet. Hahaha…I’m hale and hearty people! All I’m saying is -“should it be”?

A lot of our women rush into marriage, through desperation. Some, become miserable for the rest of their lives maybe because of a wrong decision made or by being in an abusive marriage. I see any woman getting hitched as brave. Yeah…I’m being honest here. I understand too well,   that marriage isn’t a bed of Roses. Also I know it could turn out well. So I’m aware that anyone venturing into it, has to be optimistic to an extent a team player, to make it work.

Here’s the crux of the matter, should it be the “yard stick”? Shouldn’t women dare to be more? Should “Mrs” be the only identity a lady should aspire for? If that is so, why acquire skills; advanced knowledge? These days when I hear bits and pieces of conversations from our young ladies, all I feel is despair. There’s this blatant lack of focus on anything but marital aspiration. Marriage is important. I want that too, just like every other lady out there but should it be the only goal a woman should aim for in life? What if it turned out not to be enough?

I started Kareninspirational to unburden some of the thoughts I often had in my head. I wanted it to be a means to reach out to like minds and interact. Ladies!!! Let’s dare to be more! The right man will come, when he comes. Our lives occupation shouldn’t be running around like headless Chickens, auditioning and in search for men. The right man will locate you. Lol! It is even in the scriptures. Hahaha…

Ladies Above 30 In Here!!!

Hello ladies and gentlemen…

Ladies Above 30- In Here!!!

I’m going to share a bit of myself on today’s post. Although I’m a very private person- an introvert to boot. All through my previous articles, I’ve tactfully distanced myself from my writeups. But something happened to me recently, that prompted me to share this here. I’m actually not sure why I’m sharing this here. For sympathy? I doubt. For understanding? For proper scolding from strangers? I don’t think so! To lighten the burden in my heart? Probably. Fact is- I’m not exactly sure why.

I ended my almost 3year old relationship just about 2months ago. We were already making plans for a future together. Well- this wouldn’t be a big deal if you aren’t in your 30ties and expected by everyone, to be settled in your husband’s house at this stage with kids of your own. Now- bring this scenario down to an African setting- i.e. Nigeria. Then you would realize how crazy, unimaginable, this action, sounds to many. I must be crazy to end a relationship at my “age” no matter what. I should be grateful a man even spoke to me, right? I should’ve crawled on my knees- “barked like a dog” or “hopped around until I am commanded to do otherwise. To make sure I win the ring. No? ( borrowed from that hilarious scene from the classic “Coming To America”). What could be worse than being a spinster in Africa?

I’ve never been one to bother myself with what others think of me or my actions. For once in my life though, I was bothered. I was almost crushed not because I ended things but due to how some of my closest friends reacted to it- without even listening to the reasons behind my action. Like I mentioned in one of my previous articles- once your relationship is in a rocky place, you know it. Pretending all was well just to bag the “Mrs” title would’ve been living a lie, postponing the inevitable. When there’re conflicts of interest/problems/glaring differences, in a relationship- the  ability to admit these problems exists. Then, sorting out viable solutions to rectify them. To me, is the only way forward.

Sadly our society mostly care about the “Mrs” title and nothing more. Some viewed my action as foolish. Others, as an act of ignorance- to some, it portrayed   arrogance, silliness etc.

Well, we can’t all view marriage as a “do or die” affair folks. That, I’m in my thirties doesn’t mean I should desperately hang on to a man even when I see danger in doing so, nor does it mean I’m without a choice in deciding whom I should be with. It also doesn’t mean I shouldn’t pursue other goals of mine and live a moderately happy life while at it. And the truth is- we are not toddlers. I don’t think any lady above thirty years of age is looking for a “perfect man.” Wanting to share my life with a decent person isn’t too much to ask, or is it?