Love Yourself!!!

Hello ladies and gentlemen…

my topic today says; love yourself

I read a very sad story this morning on Facebook of a “young lady” that committed suicide after being jilted. According to the story, she’d been in a relationship with a young man who broke up with her after about 12yrs in a relationship. Painful…sad, I know…  but suicide??? Really? Over someone who didn’t see or “forgot” your value? That’s extreme.

A breakup is always painful if you’re the one jilted. C’mon, get angry, cry if you feel like it! You feel let down, disappointed, unappreciated, taken for granted… It’s normal to feel those things. Don’t  bottle the anger or pain. It’s allowed and a very crucial part of healing. Move on with your life. Someday, someone who sees your value, who understands and appreciate you’ll come by. To commit suicide over a breakup means, you never valued or appreciated yourself. You let someone else be your source of happiness. You simply don’t love yourself enough to be your own source of joy, to hold your life dear. lt’s your life afterall.

Anyone in a relationship should be mature enough to know it’s never a done deal. It could go either way. Therefore, never tie your entire life on another person’s decision or mindset. It could work or not and it’s never a do or die affair. If it works out, oh! Good! If not, dust yourself, move on. That, it didn’t work, might not be because of things you didn’t do a certain way. Maybe, you just weren’t compatible. Someone else who might understand you better or be exactly what you’ve needed all along would come by, when you let go.

Committing suicide over a fellow who waited for 12yrs to make a decision on a relationship? If it didn’t work, it’s simply because one person was dissatisfied all along. You should’ve seen the handwriting on the wall and moved on. I implore us all, let’s use our head when necessary in a relationship and not lose our heart or life over someone that ordinarily didn’t matter.

Do have a lovely day, you all!

Don’t Waste Anyone’s Time All In The Name Of “Relationship”

Hello ladies and gentlemen…

My topic today says;

Don’t Waste Anyone’s Time All In The Name Of “Relationship”

I want to talk on relationships this morning. Every relationship, needs some necessary materials to work. Be it marital relationship, courtship, and every other kind of relationship. However I’m focusing my attention on single ladies and eligible bachelors today.

For a relationship to work, there must be communication, honesty, understanding each other, compatibility, affection, and respect for each other. Those are the key recipe for a healthy relationship. In the absence of all these mentioned above… you are just fooling around, playing games and quite immature.

You should find it easy to communicate when you are in a relationship. Have deep conversations occasionally. Talk to each other about everything. Discuss your fears, your accomplishments, your dreams.

I do wonder when I hear stories where; a grown man complains that a lady he has been with for months, even up to a year; told him, she’s in a relationship. So for this reason he had to walk out  from the relationship. I find that hard to believe. If there’s truth at all in that, then it must be half truth.  She’s in another relationship you say? How could you not notice if something was different? The subtle changes in her behaviour? Didn’t you spend quality times with each other? Were you busy playing mind games? Hiding your feelings ?  Trying to outsmart each other?

It is mostly those with the mind set that a man or lady must grovel to keep him/her, will carry-on on a relationship for upto 7/8months, without having candid discussions concerning the relationship. Keeping the other partner guessing. And in an emotional turmoil till he or she begins to feel unsure of his/her place in your life. This person could begin to prepare his/her mind for a breakup since your relationship seemed more like a deadend kind of relationship.

For the male folks, showing your feelings, assuring your woman won’t make you less a man. Also your actions towards her will go a long way into shaping her emotional state of mind towards you. Don’t neglect the woman in your life or relegate her to an option. Then come out later to whine when she moves on.

Do not waste your partners time unnecessary. Why be in a relationship with him or her for 2/3 yrs even more when you are unsure of what you want? When you don’t have any particular plan that includes this partner. He/she isn’t  in your future plans… Why string him or her along? For the female folks, why allow a man to sponsor your education and such, when you aren’t committed or sure you are on the same page? Why stay in an undefined relationship for years?

To the gentlemen my advice is; don’t waste a lady’s time in the name of being in a”relationship” with her, when you know deep down you aren’t ready. Allow her meet those ready for something serious. When a man is finally ready, it doesn’t take all those dramatics for him to take that step.  Also quit playing the victim and trying to blackmail a girl you had a relationship with in the past into thinking, it was all her fault because she moved on. What other options was she left with? Being with you for 5yrs isn’t a guarantee you will end up together.

What’s my point? If you are truly into your woman. You feel something special for her and wish her by your side for a long time to come.

Tell her how you feel, show her and let her know your plans for the future. You can’t be hiding your feelings, giving her no clue whatsoever about anything, yet expect her to hang in there like a sponge.

It’s quite depressing for a lady to date a guy who isn’t man enough to share his feelings with the woman in his life. Probably thinks he’s playing it safe. If that’s the case, then play safe but don’t put the blame on her for your breakup. Nobody walks out from something promising and working. People mostly walk away  from irrevocably damaged  or unhealthy relationships.

Let’s be realistic here. Don’t waste anyone’s time and if you do, don’t blame the victim of your callousness for walking out on you.

That’s all I have to say for now, will be back soon. Have a wonderful day you all!