I Met A Man

Hahaha…that’s right. This is a lady’s story. Hear what she has to say. This man ticked all the boxes. A good listener, caring, thoughtful and “God fearing”. Let’s call him John.

John would call first thing in the morning and last before going to bed. He initially talked about his past which according to his tales was packed to the brim with sad and horrid stories. I didn’t talk about my past at all. To me, it was all in the past now. For the first time I saw a man who didn’t pry. Lol! Little did I know what was coming. Haha..

He was bold and decisive, knew what he wanted. Wow…did such men still exist? John wanted a condusive home of peace and harmony, consisting of wife and children – don’t we all? He also had an aged mother to cater for. So kind hearted, a human being! I was excited for such a monumental fortune “change” in a relationship. That’s the thing. It seemed I actually expected such a human being to exist. Didn’t l? I’ve no idea.

Well, one morning, I got a phone call that shattered to piece my sand castle. It was a distress call, John’s mother had been shot by armed rubbers. She was being wheeled into the hospital as I was informed by the caller. He couldn’t be reached on phone!I was told. I immediately tried to reach him to no avail.

The calls kept coming, I remember wondering why I was the one being called incessantly on a case like this? But there were no time to muse, the doctor informed me, she needed to be in surgery asap. I made a decision l would’ve made if she were to be my mother. I told the doctor to commence surgery and save her life. I was told how much to deposit into the hospital account before surgery could begin. I believed I did well under pressure. After the surgery, John later returned my call. I told him all that happened. He was stunned to say the least. He called me an angel for saving his mom.

I was glad, I could help. That’s all I said. Except, none of it were true. It was all theatrics, “staged”. He was a fraud trying to steal from me. I’ve thought hard through all these- and I keep asking myself, what I’d have done differently or what I’d do if someone ever needed my help again, for real or fake? The trauma alone of vizualizing a mother dying on a hospital gurney because her son couldn’t be reached.

It’s a lesson learned, the hard way. I know now what human being are capable of-all for money. How much was it that you stooped so low…

Hahaha…what’s your thoughts on love scam?

Do have a wonderful evening, you all!

How Do You Handle An Opinionated Partner???

Hello ladies and gentlemen…

Wow! It’s been a long while! Well-my topic today says;

How Do You Handle An Opinionated  Partner ???

Lol! I know… exasperating right? Who doesn’t know how infuriating this trait could be?

Now- to an extent, I think most people can attest to having been with someone with such trait at a certain point in their lives. A healthy dose of argument here or there doesn’t hurt anyone, when you and your partner are sure-footed but when a partner is vulnerable- it begins to sound condescending to him or her.

 

Personally, I love putting my points of view out there, expecting others to do same. So that the most sensible, takes the day. What a thrill such exercise gives! But recently I’ve become a bit more sensitive. Lol! I’m serious. In my excitement during most arguments, I never truly see how miffed the other parties often are- to them most times, it’s exhausting and could lead to secret resentment. You become something of a “know it all.” Lol! Opinions are free. Cheaper than a dime, a dozen. Haha.. Oh well! What can I say?

Back to my topic. Usually, having an opinion on issues that I’m interested in, was quite natural to me. In fact, it was like a sport. By observing a situation-subconsciously an opinion is already formed in my mind, which I’d voice out every chance I got. But recently, I was opportune to be in the company of  opinionated fellows- whoa! At first I was like, it’s just an harmless personal opinions. But as it escalated- became so regular. I actually felt violated! Whatthehell???

Now- don’t get me wrong. I still believe, I’d never intentionally force my opinions down anyone’s throat. Mine is always an honest perception but strictly mine. Even at that, I’m always eager to compare note with someone else’s view. There’s nothing I appreciate more than being convinced with  concrete points, that another’s view is more appropriate  than mine. So you can imagine my chagrin when I recently met two different people, not even same sex, who thought their opinions were the only one acceptable. It was foreign to me. As an adult, I believe everyone is entitled to his/her opinion. Why not?

At this stage in life, c’mon… one already knows things one likes or not, his/her preferences. For instance, you don’t like a certain lifestyle, food, drink or mode of dressing and someone out there, an adult like yourself, is hellbent on convincing you, that you actually do. But just “didn’t ” know it. Haa! Really? And surprisingly, he/she miraculously does? I’m not talking about acquired taste here- my focus is on the regular things that defines you.

What’s my point? Well- these two unrelated encounters taught me a valuable lesson in life. There’s this consciousness in me presently gliding towards how others may perceive my honest opinions. How’d you feel if your partner disagrees with every suggestion you make concerning your relationship? If he/she always feels his/her opinion is more superior? Not knowing you concede only to avoid unnecessary confrontations/bloodletting? Believe you me, it left a bitter taste in my mouth! Lol! I didn’t like that feeling one single bit.

What’s your view on this issue? Have you ever encountered such? What’s the best approach in your opinion? Share with us- it might help someone out there.

LEARN TO MIND YOUR BUSINESS-PLEASE!!!

Hello ladies and gentlemen…

My today’s topic is on a jovial route. It says ;

Learn To Mind Your Business-Please!!!

Hahaha…funny right? I know…

The other day I came across a post on Facebook where a lady was reprimanding those that’d bring her juicy news/ gossip of her boyfriend “extracurricular” activities, which she was blissfully unaware of. She said anyone that brought her such unpleasant news “owed” her a new boyfriend. Lol! As funny as this sounds- I see her point.

I wonder why some make themselves sole bearers of unsolicited bad news to others. Once it’s a news that’d cause the person unimaginable grief, this type of busy- bodies just want to be there when it unfolds. They want to watch your face, witness every detail of your reaction as you battle for composure. She/he could regale others with this sizzling gist- disguised as “sharing” her sympathy for “you” to them, of course. Haha… if it was something good- he/she wouldn’t have had time to contact you in person. People simply crave for something bad to happen- if it doesn’t. Some would even twist something good- all in a futile effort to make it appear bad.

Why I agree with the lady’s post on Facebook? Okay, you think or know for a fact that her man is cheating on her. Uhm… you’re loyal and must protect your friend! I get that too. You’re sure her relationship is now in shambles! Oh! I know… haha.  Now- you’ve become her avenging angel, must protect her and save her from further embarrassment! Of course. Lol! What’re friends for? My question though is- what’ve you achieved by being nosy/ meddling into her affairs? What happened to minding your own business? Is it your affair? How sure are you of your own partner?

Lol! Hear me out first- I’m not saying if his/her partner is cheating, that- it’s okay. Far from that, neither am I saying do nothing if you knew for a fact and this is a good friend. But don’t make it a juicy gossip and dump it on him/her like you’re doing him/her a favour! I hate gossipers with passion. There’re ways one can alert a friend of his/her partner’s behavior, without actually pointing a finger. A sensible person would take note and device a way to sort things out with his/her partner without making a ruckus about it.

Gossipers make a mess of things, most times. Even King David killed gossipers twice in the Holy Book. The first gossiper, brought him a juicy news of King Saul’s death, expecting a pat on the back or even a befitting gift, instead he got his death. The second gossipers brought him a hot gist of how they killed Ishbosheth- while he was having an afternoon nap in his own home! It gets worse- those two were the perpetrators of the said crime…thinking it’d please him- that they had killed his “presumed” enemy. Lol! I call them the overzealous- “Baanah” and “Rechab.” What did this act fetch them? Their hands and feet were severed from their bodies!  Check it out- tell me if I’m making a valid point- 2Samuel4:5-12. It is an interesting read I assure you.

The thing is- let’s all learn to mind our business. I try hard to do just that because I’d realized quite early in life that things aren’t always what they seemed. For instance- from the story above Baanah and Rechab thought what they did was a show of loyalty to David- what they didn’t know was one single “fact”- David never saw King Saul or his family as his enemies. You may think you’re bringing your “friend”a good and valuable news. But you aren’t the one in that relationship, so you may not know that “single” fact that binds them- just as it happened in the narrative above.

I think I’ve said enough- just stay off other peoples matters. She who wears the shoes knows where it hurts. There’re different shades too. You can never tell. Your baggage might be bigger than that of whom, you’ve asigned yourself to watch over. He/she might have deeper history why things seem the way they appear to you. Do have a lovely day you all!

 

SELFISHNESS IN RELATIONSHIPS

Hello ladies and gentlemen…

My topic today says;

SELFISHNESS IN RELATIONSHIPS

A lot of people admire couples that succeeded and had years of good marriages down their belts.What most don’t acknowledge is that it was never an easy ride…all rosy.

Some would hang on to a partner only because he/she is supporting him/her one way or another but vanishes into thin air once the table is turned. It never occur to such persons that some situations are temporary. If he/she stuck around, who know? This partner may even surpass his/her previous achievements. It’s all in the mind set.

This is so common, some married couples exhibit this traits too. A partner might do everything he or she could without a single complaint to his/her partner when the chips were down. God forbid the table turns;  God help you if it turned out your partner is one of the selfish ones. The whole world would get to know he/she has been catering for your wellbeing. This type would degrade; humiliate; and belittle you at every turn because he/she was at an advantage/helm of things for a while.

Well…in a friendship situation. There’s still room to avoid or cutoff completely from such dreadful person. Some that don’t find joy in altruistic acts. A person that can not commit him/herself to make things flow at this stage in your relationship may never grow to learn what he/she does wrong.

These kind are also self-absorbed. They rarely exhibit any form of sensitivity. Those with this trait and attitude to life may never realize how emotionally unavailable they often are… they feel entitled to every gesture from others as if it’s their birthright. Hahaha…

Does this sound familiar?

My advice to anyone involved with such insensitive specie of human being is to firstly, talk to him or her about it. If nothing changes. Walk away from that relationship. It won’t get better. It gets worse. This type could hasten one’s journey to meet the Maker. Such person unwittingly pushes his/her partner into depression.

A selfish person care-less about others needs, emotions, situation, perception. Everything is constantly viewed from his/her own binocular in his/her “little” world. Others should take a hike… who cares? Ignoring such appalling behavior could spell doom for the partner who had indulged such from the start. It takes two to tango. Any enviable relationship is always brewed out of team work. You don’t put both hands in your pockets in your euphoric  dream of granduer and expect your relationship to turn out right.

If you are out there and this write up makes you uncomfortable…it touches a nerve in you. Then it’s time you worked on yourself. Don’t always make it your partner’s fault. It could be you, destroying anything good that comes your way. Nothing kills a relationship even marriages faster than selfishness from a partner. Give a bit of yourself…it doesn’t kill. Share your precious time when you could with your partner, show appreciation. Be involved, committed to make your own relationship beautiful. To make it work, is  work in itself and shouldn’t be taken lithely. The ride is definitely smoother and more enjoyable with little or no friction when both wheels are functioning.

If this piece spoke to you, ponder on it. Work on yourself. Be to your partner what you wish your partner to be to you. Lol. Check yourself before you lose your valued possession in your ignorance.

That’s all I have to say today, ladies and gentlemen. Share your thoughts/views on this post with me. I’m eager to read them on here…

Social Media Craze/”Bizarre?”

Hello ladies and gentlemen…

I will digress a bit today. My topic today says;

Social Media Craze/”Bizarre?”

Uhm… am I the only one feeling a bit uncomfortable with the worrisome attitude of lots of people on the social media?

Now, what is social media about? English dictionary defines it as; “interactive forms of media that allow users to interact with and publish to each other, generally by means of the internet”. Well, that was simple enough.

There’s this uncanny feeling I get when I see the extent to which people have gone via these interactive means.

Internet is probably the greatest means of interaction ever created and has pros too numerous to count. Well… the cons? Ah ha! That’s what I’m focusing on today.

Some grown-ups, now live “right inside” the Internet. Lol. Normally two adults fight, make up, no one knows or cares. These days? Haha…you wish. I can’t count how many times I have come across a parent advising his/her child on a page on the net. Either after wishing them well or congratulating them. Hmm…what-the-heck happened to phone calls?

Some couples put all their lives on the pages of social media network. This wouldn’t matter at all, if some would be mature enough not to also wash their dirty laundry in the “net”(public). What happens to keeping certain aspect of one’s life “private?” Would that be excruciatingly beyond one’s capability?

Accident occur on a highway traffic and the first thing on someone’s mind at the scene, is taking pictures to upload on the net. For what purpose exactly? Such callousness!  I have a question for those that perpetuate such act. If your sibling or parent was involved in that accident, God forbid. Would you still be interested in snaping their last minutes on earth and pasting on “your” page? Better still, how would you feel if some random”empty brain” does that to your loved one?

The other day, I saw a page where a young man pasted a picture of a dead young man on a slab in a morgue. He “claimed” to be mourning his “dear” friend. The gruesome picture was disheartening. The height of foolishness. How could he do such to a bereaved family? Forcing the gory details down their throats was a wicked act if you ask me.

Young men and women are not left out. Youthful exuberance. Lol.  Cat fights, nude pictures and all, now carried on to the stage…. incriminating videos flying left and right.

It’s all good, no one is perfect. What makes me cringe is the fact that it seems a lot of people have forgotten one unsettling fact. The Internet “never” forgets! Lol. It’s unlike books records that could be damaged; misplaced; or buried deep. Here, just a click… the rest is history.

Let’s not abuse these wonderful interactive means of exchange between people; have fun and be merry. Let’s be sensitive and careful always.

Do have a wonderful week, you all!