Love Yourself!!!

Hello ladies and gentlemen…

my topic today says; love yourself

I read a very sad story this morning on Facebook of a “young lady” that committed suicide after being jilted. According to the story, she’d been in a relationship with a young man who broke up with her after about 12yrs in a relationship. Painful…sad, I know…  but suicide??? Really? Over someone who didn’t see or “forgot” your value? That’s extreme.

A breakup is always painful if you’re the one jilted. C’mon, get angry, cry if you feel like it! You feel let down, disappointed, unappreciated, taken for granted… It’s normal to feel those things. Don’t  bottle the anger or pain. It’s allowed and a very crucial part of healing. Move on with your life. Someday, someone who sees your value, who understands and appreciate you’ll come by. To commit suicide over a breakup means, you never valued or appreciated yourself. You let someone else be your source of happiness. You simply don’t love yourself enough to be your own source of joy, to hold your life dear. lt’s your life afterall.

Anyone in a relationship should be mature enough to know it’s never a done deal. It could go either way. Therefore, never tie your entire life on another person’s decision or mindset. It could work or not and it’s never a do or die affair. If it works out, oh! Good! If not, dust yourself, move on. That, it didn’t work, might not be because of things you didn’t do a certain way. Maybe, you just weren’t compatible. Someone else who might understand you better or be exactly what you’ve needed all along would come by, when you let go.

Committing suicide over a fellow who waited for 12yrs to make a decision on a relationship? If it didn’t work, it’s simply because one person was dissatisfied all along. You should’ve seen the handwriting on the wall and moved on. I implore us all, let’s use our head when necessary in a relationship and not lose our heart or life over someone that ordinarily didn’t matter.

Do have a lovely day, you all!

Is Love Relevant In A Union?

Hello ladies and gentlemen…

My topic today says;

Is Love Relevant In a Union?

First and foremost, what do we understand by the term “love?”

“An intense feeling of affection and care towards another person.” “A deep or abiding liking for something.” Says; the English dictionary.

Now based on those definitions above. I’m of the opinion that, it matters. Hear me out first… it isn’t compulsory though. A marriage that has compatibility would work just fine without all that mushy stuff. Personality traits plays a huge role in a union. But when push turns to shove, I believe deep affections, is what binds the union.

Let me elaborate. There are no two people, with exact same character in the world, twins even have their differences. Love breeds tolerance, it breeds patience, it activates forgiveness. When you have affection and care towards another, you would forgive almost anything.

It’s true we have all heard a thousand times how it eventually fades. I have no doubt it might fade as everything else in the universe does fade in time even life. But don’t forget, when it was present it created the bond that is later referred to as friendship, companionship, mutual respect. Genuine friendship are born out of likeness and care.

Love must create memories and those wonderful moments shared, will cushion the union during tough times. If you would observe with me, a couple that had no affections for each other take much longer to become friends, if it ever gets to that. Some are like total stranger to each other when no one is watching. Don’t be deceived.

Where affection is present, forgiveness isn’t far behind. Tolerance is close by. Pettiness, hate,regrets aren’t  so accessible.

We try to grasp at times, why a man would break-up a relationship  with a lady for cheating, being rude, obstinate, yet marry someone with similar character traits and still end up happy with the choice he made. The reality here is that singular binding factor; “love.” His affection overrides everything else.

In every relationship, there’s a simple fact. My opinion though- the degree of your affections for each other, determines largely the final outcome. If one of you isn’t interested, the probability of it amounting to anything is almost nonexistent. If you are always on someone’s neck for every little blunder the persons makes. Well, firstly such would put the receiving party on auto-defensive mode whenever you are around him/her.

Secondly, this person becomes disillusioned towards you. This is because, she or he, sees your shortcomings too but chose to ignore or devise a way to accommodate it. So, your constant hacking on hers or his, would soon breed nonchalant attitude towards the partner. From this attitude comes;  contempt, scorn, gradually- it becomes unadulterated hate. Are you getting the picture? When love is involved from the beginning, tolerance will allow you study your partner patiently. You would see his weaknesses and his strengths. Love will encourage you to accommodate the weaknesses, instead of nagging about them every damn minute. Before the love wears off, if it does. You would be close friends and confidants by then. And as friends, you would know the best ways to handle your differences. There are no friends without differences. What makes them friends is the ability to understand and accommodate one another.

Love has never really been a valued criteria in most African countries as a necessity towards the institution of marriage. But maybe it should. If you are lucky to find it, you made a step in the right direction for it might just help your marriage to be unique and fulfilling. But if you found compatibility, it’s also okay. Who knows? It can still slip in, in time. It could grow and become strong eventually. It all begins with “affection” towards another whom you are with.

Those are the reasons, why I believe it’s  pertinent, for two people living together as one. If you don’t share such bond, some words spoken to each other in anger or some horrible things done against each other may never be forgiven or forgotten. We all know it takes love to forgive. Try forgiving someone you despise. Lol. Tell me the outcome later.

Well,  it’s still my personal view. What do you think?