Love Yourself!!!

Hello ladies and gentlemen…

my topic today says; love yourself

I read a very sad story this morning on Facebook of a “young lady” that committed suicide after being jilted. According to the story, she’d been in a relationship with a young man who broke up with her after about 12yrs in a relationship. Painful…sad, I know…  but suicide??? Really? Over someone who didn’t see or “forgot” your value? That’s extreme.

A breakup is always painful if you’re the one jilted. C’mon, get angry, cry if you feel like it! You feel let down, disappointed, unappreciated, taken for granted… It’s normal to feel those things. Don’t  bottle the anger or pain. It’s allowed and a very crucial part of healing. Move on with your life. Someday, someone who sees your value, who understands and appreciate you’ll come by. To commit suicide over a breakup means, you never valued or appreciated yourself. You let someone else be your source of happiness. You simply don’t love yourself enough to be your own source of joy, to hold your life dear. lt’s your life afterall.

Anyone in a relationship should be mature enough to know it’s never a done deal. It could go either way. Therefore, never tie your entire life on another person’s decision or mindset. It could work or not and it’s never a do or die affair. If it works out, oh! Good! If not, dust yourself, move on. That, it didn’t work, might not be because of things you didn’t do a certain way. Maybe, you just weren’t compatible. Someone else who might understand you better or be exactly what you’ve needed all along would come by, when you let go.

Committing suicide over a fellow who waited for 12yrs to make a decision on a relationship? If it didn’t work, it’s simply because one person was dissatisfied all along. You should’ve seen the handwriting on the wall and moved on. I implore us all, let’s use our head when necessary in a relationship and not lose our heart or life over someone that ordinarily didn’t matter.

Do have a lovely day, you all!

What is Racism???

Hello ladies and gentlemen…

My topic today is about that “known” fact we’re all afraid to admit to ourselves; we’re all guilty of- most human beings are guilty of exhibiting this trait. You heard me right- “Racism.”

What is Racism? Lol! Don’t frown yet. Hear me out. The English Dictionary defines racism as- the prejuice that members of one race are intrinsically superior to members of other races.

This definition is self explanatory- to explain this in layman’s term simply means that a particular race assume, they’re superior to other races. To this race, others are inferior to their race.

Let’s be fair and realistic here. Almost every race subconsciously feel this way towards another race. It might not apply to every other race but – we all feel some races are inferior to ours.

Good! I see that, I’ve got your attention for a moment.

Subconsciously, we all segregate. Take for instance in Africa here- there’s this fierce tribalism. Some exibit this trait unknowningly. Funny enough, a tribalistic African would instantly spot, a racist act, either because, subconsciously he/she expected it to be there. Frankly, it might not be what it seemed.

The way forward, if you asked me-is that we stop assuming we know what’s in the other person’s mind. Let’s not read unnecessary meanings to others actions. If it was racist inclined- it’d be a wasted effort, therefore useless.

Racism exist, but this is the 21st Century. Let’s dump superiority complex. Let’s all embrace one another; accommodate one another without rancor or looking down on any race. What we need to move forward in life might be ingrained in someone we view as inferior.

Everyone should be involved. Look deep, you’d find out, even you and I are guilty of racism.

Do have a wonderful evening, you all!

Why Blame Others???

Hello ladies and gentlemen…

Wow! It’s been a while. How’s the day going? Smootly, I hope.

My today’s topic says;

Why Blame Others???

Lol! I see brows being raised. Well- curiosity kills the cat- they say. Uhm…where am I headed with this epistle?

My focus today is on relationships. Oftentimes I hear men “whining” mostly about ladies that rejected their proposal for a relationship and still ended up alone. Haha.. this is hilarious. Please I would like to know the “connection” here. As a man- do you ask every lady you meet out? Is it all the women that crosses your path, that you connect with? Why then do you expect every lady you speak with to be “grateful” instantly- thank her “God” for the previledge to be spoken to by you. Lol!

There’re different categories of men I’ve taken notice of lately. One thing I found out they’ve in common, is this unbearable “ego” that a woman should be grateful and worship the ground they walked on, because they’re the best thing since sliced – bread. Hahaha..

The categories are-

  • The superficial- vain, shallow, type of men who never quite figure out what they want in life. This type rely mostly on their looks to be enough to get them by. They never have core values or place any value on relavant things. They’re often focused on trivial things, stuffs that real men have no time for. Now when a sensible woman sees this traits and rejects their offer for a relationship. Why would anyone think she would regret being on her own than being with such a nuisance? Haha…are you getting my point?
  • The “timid”- these ones would boast to their friends about their prowess and expertise but the truth remains that they’re tongue-tied and timid once in the presence of a lady. There’s nothing that irritates a woman, especially the career focused type as a man, not bold enough to state what he wants or needs. Haa! What’s the worst that could happen? To her, it’s as simple as you expressing why you think a relationship with her is a good idea. If you can’t do even that. Then how can you handle “communication” while in the relationship? Lol! That’ll simply be a disaster waiting to happen. Now- pray tell, how’ll a sensible person regret not allowing such a mishap in her life? If you can not express your feelings to someone you supposedly care about, maybe you don’t care about that person as much as you think- because if you do, then you’ll do whatever you’ve got to do to be with him/her.
  • The hardcore manipulators- these ones. It’s all about them and nobody else. Every plan, thoughts, actions, is viewed singularly by how it’ll affect their own “perfect plans.” They search for someone that will “fit-in” into their already mapped out plans, not giving a thought what your ambition or plans are This type has no room for compromise, nothing gives. To them, it’s all or nothing.

There’s no perfect man out there nor any perfect woman for that matter. We’re mostly searching for the same thing. Someone who’ll see the good in us and work with it to bring out the “best” in us. Not someone who will zealously bring out the worst in us. This might be the reasons some said “NO” to you. As a man, if you’re ready to make a relationship work, it’ll probably work. Your approach towards wooing a lady matters alot. Show her you’re willing to be a team, not a “one man” squad. Communicate with her. She isn’t a soothsayer. Hear her out sometimes, you could be surprised by her apt understanding of the situation.

If this piece changes your view on some women. If it opens up a door in your mind that it’s not that simple or simply black or white. If you now see, there’re grey areas too- why some women rejected you in the past and let the “bitterness” go. Then, I believe this writeup has served it purpose and was meant for you! Do have a wonderful weekend you all!

LEARN TO MIND YOUR BUSINESS-PLEASE!!!

Hello ladies and gentlemen…

My today’s topic is on a jovial route. It says ;

Learn To Mind Your Business-Please!!!

Hahaha…funny right? I know…

The other day I came across a post on Facebook where a lady was reprimanding those that’d bring her juicy news/ gossip of her boyfriend “extracurricular” activities, which she was blissfully unaware of. She said anyone that brought her such unpleasant news “owed” her a new boyfriend. Lol! As funny as this sounds- I see her point.

I wonder why some make themselves sole bearers of unsolicited bad news to others. Once it’s a news that’d cause the person unimaginable grief, this type of busy- bodies just want to be there when it unfolds. They want to watch your face, witness every detail of your reaction as you battle for composure. She/he could regale others with this sizzling gist- disguised as “sharing” her sympathy for “you” to them, of course. Haha… if it was something good- he/she wouldn’t have had time to contact you in person. People simply crave for something bad to happen- if it doesn’t. Some would even twist something good- all in a futile effort to make it appear bad.

Why I agree with the lady’s post on Facebook? Okay, you think or know for a fact that her man is cheating on her. Uhm… you’re loyal and must protect your friend! I get that too. You’re sure her relationship is now in shambles! Oh! I know… haha.  Now- you’ve become her avenging angel, must protect her and save her from further embarrassment! Of course. Lol! What’re friends for? My question though is- what’ve you achieved by being nosy/ meddling into her affairs? What happened to minding your own business? Is it your affair? How sure are you of your own partner?

Lol! Hear me out first- I’m not saying if his/her partner is cheating, that- it’s okay. Far from that, neither am I saying do nothing if you knew for a fact and this is a good friend. But don’t make it a juicy gossip and dump it on him/her like you’re doing him/her a favour! I hate gossipers with passion. There’re ways one can alert a friend of his/her partner’s behavior, without actually pointing a finger. A sensible person would take note and device a way to sort things out with his/her partner without making a ruckus about it.

Gossipers make a mess of things, most times. Even King David killed gossipers twice in the Holy Book. The first gossiper, brought him a juicy news of King Saul’s death, expecting a pat on the back or even a befitting gift, instead he got his death. The second gossipers brought him a hot gist of how they killed Ishbosheth- while he was having an afternoon nap in his own home! It gets worse- those two were the perpetrators of the said crime…thinking it’d please him- that they had killed his “presumed” enemy. Lol! I call them the overzealous- “Baanah” and “Rechab.” What did this act fetch them? Their hands and feet were severed from their bodies!  Check it out- tell me if I’m making a valid point- 2Samuel4:5-12. It is an interesting read I assure you.

The thing is- let’s all learn to mind our business. I try hard to do just that because I’d realized quite early in life that things aren’t always what they seemed. For instance- from the story above Baanah and Rechab thought what they did was a show of loyalty to David- what they didn’t know was one single “fact”- David never saw King Saul or his family as his enemies. You may think you’re bringing your “friend”a good and valuable news. But you aren’t the one in that relationship, so you may not know that “single” fact that binds them- just as it happened in the narrative above.

I think I’ve said enough- just stay off other peoples matters. She who wears the shoes knows where it hurts. There’re different shades too. You can never tell. Your baggage might be bigger than that of whom, you’ve asigned yourself to watch over. He/she might have deeper history why things seem the way they appear to you. Do have a lovely day you all!

 

Why The Assumption That All Ladies Above 30 And Unmarried Were Shallow/Wayward?

 

Hello ladies and gentlemen…

My today’s topic is a question to all those having sleepless nights over issues not really their business.

Why The Assumption That All Ladies Above 30 And Unmarried Were Shallow Or Wayward?

I’m sick and tired of all these stereotypical assumptions flying all over the place. Must we always be so judgmental about other people’s lives? Whose business it is that she isn’t married? Why prioritize someone else’s issue?

Just yesterday I came across a post on a social network where a lady reached out to single women above thirty. I couldn’t get the details of her program since she only wanted them to give her a call. To my disgust! This particular man sprang out of nowhere, lamenting on how it was a well deserved “punishment” for all those women who thought their beauty was everything and rejected men at the snap of a finger….haa! He wasn’t done- far from it. He prattled on… on how they were all shallow minded fools who were waiting for rich men to come-by and propose- which didn’t happen.  He was just getting warmed up- On, he went- “starting up men who wooed them- were rejected countless times! Today see them all. Single! Used goods looking for a poor man to marry!” Ugh! Pathetic…

What gets to me on this issue isn’t even the ranting. It’s the assumption that she must be devastated. The assumption that she’s been dealt with by faith for her atrocities. Yeah…I’m sure Mary Magdalene  had nothing on us. Lol. Why the stereotype, that a lady married late or yet to marry because she has a terrible character/past? Who told you that? Who gave you a pass, that- you’re better than these ladies you raise your noses in the air to mock? To belittle and humiliate at every turn? Who gave you the right to judge?  The condescending attitude some people exhibit, both male and female gender against unmarried ladies above thirty is astonishing.

If you’re married and happy in your own home. Why ‘re you so concerned about someone else’s plight? Is it your problem? Is she complaining to you? It seems harder for “a bull to pass through the eye of a needle” than for some to actually grasp that a lady above thirty and yet to marry may actually be happy as she is- living and planning her life. Not encumbered by the responsibilities that acompany’s  marriage”yet.” A time may come when her independence and life experience would make her be a better wife than some that married early.

A mature lady enters marriage with full knowledge of what it entails. She’s isn’t there for fairy tales. She creates a conducive environment for herself and her partner. Why? Simply because at this stage in her life, she knows exactly what she wants and needs and has garnered suitable experience on how to go about it.

A lady that married, let’s say at the age of 22/23yrs. Experienced a hellish marriage and divorced in her thirties or so. And one who didn’t marry on time because of a thousand and one reasons available, that could have prevented her from tieing the knot. Had time on her hands, worked on herself- knew herself well. Built a career niche for herself before meeting her own man. Do you really think the latter missed out on much? This thirty-something year old who has maturity and an understanding of how things works before tieing the knot. Did she miss so much for not marrying sooner?

A lot of married people currently miss singlehood fiercely. Some wish they could dissolve their unions without a backward glance. Some feel trapped. Some ‘re overwhelmed with regrets for entering into that union. Some can recall- the exact mistake that landed him/her in the trap he/she’s in now. Seeing all these, concerning marriage.  It baffles me that, some still see it as a “do or die affair.” A lot of married couples will gladly go their separate ways given the opportunity- no strings attached.

Well…what’s my point? My point is- stop treating getting married as the most important or the “only”goal in a woman’s life. Some want it badly no doubt, others don’t. That- she isn’t married doesn’t mean she’s shallow or wayward. Let me shock you.

Wayward ladies actually marry on time. They’re skilled- they know what men want and like. They know how to rope in/hook a man. They also know exactly the buttons to push to get a man to do exactly what they want. If a wayward lady with her experience sets her eyes on you. You’re in. By the time she’s through with you. You’d swear it was all your ideas. 60% of ladies that encounter late marriages are actually the decent ones. Probably rigid or frigid in nature- some ‘re introverts, some’re nerds and some quite boring. So stop the stereotyping already. It’s beginning to irritate.

What’s your opinion on this issue? I’d love to read it on here. Have a lovely day!