I Met A Man

Hahaha…that’s right. This is a lady’s story. Hear what she has to say. This man ticked all the boxes. A good listener, caring, thoughtful and “God fearing”. Let’s call him John.

John would call first thing in the morning and last before going to bed. He initially talked about his past which according to his tales was packed to the brim with sad and horrid stories. I didn’t talk about my past at all. To me, it was all in the past now. For the first time I saw a man who didn’t pry. Lol! Little did I know what was coming. Haha..

He was bold and decisive, knew what he wanted. Wow…did such men still exist? John wanted a condusive home of peace and harmony, consisting of wife and children – don’t we all? He also had an aged mother to cater for. So kind hearted, a human being! I was excited for such a monumental fortune “change” in a relationship. That’s the thing. It seemed I actually expected such a human being to exist. Didn’t l? I’ve no idea.

Well, one morning, I got a phone call that shattered to piece my sand castle. It was a distress call, John’s mother had been shot by armed rubbers. She was being wheeled into the hospital as I was informed by the caller. He couldn’t be reached on phone!I was told. I immediately tried to reach him to no avail.

The calls kept coming, I remember wondering why I was the one being called incessantly on a case like this? But there were no time to muse, the doctor informed me, she needed to be in surgery asap. I made a decision l would’ve made if she were to be my mother. I told the doctor to commence surgery and save her life. I was told how much to deposit into the hospital account before surgery could begin. I believed I did well under pressure. After the surgery, John later returned my call. I told him all that happened. He was stunned to say the least. He called me an angel for saving his mom.

I was glad, I could help. That’s all I said. Except, none of it were true. It was all theatrics, “staged”. He was a fraud trying to steal from me. I’ve thought hard through all these- and I keep asking myself, what I’d have done differently or what I’d do if someone ever needed my help again, for real or fake? The trauma alone of vizualizing a mother dying on a hospital gurney because her son couldn’t be reached.

It’s a lesson learned, the hard way. I know now what human being are capable of-all for money. How much was it that you stooped so low…

Hahaha…what’s your thoughts on love scam?

Do have a wonderful evening, you all!

Are You An Asset???

Hello ladies and gentlemen…

My today’s topic is on the cliché “Are you an asset? Lol! These words are spoken over an over by relationships experts so nonchalantly- but are you valuable to your partner, in your relationship? Don’t get me wrong. I think being an asset could be mis-understood if care isn’t taken.

Now- let’s define the word Asset; the English Dictionary defines Asset as- a useful or valuable quality. It also could be defined as- anything of material value or usefulness that is owned by a person or company.

Most people mouth these words, expecting asset to mean only tangible values i.e monetary values, wealth. I think that mindset can not totally define asset. A person could be valuable through their reasoning, behavior, through values added by being real. Being a role model can shape another person’s life.

Now- back to our discussion, are you an asset to your lady/man? The outcome of your relationship might determine that or not. Nobody wants to loose an asset- but you could be of value to someone else, where another thought you weren’t of any value. It all depends on his or her mindset and outlook to life. Your value will never be appreciated by someone who has no need for what you bring to the table. Someone who needs what you’ve got will value you- now that’s what compatibility is all about! Join me on here, let’s share our thoughts on being an asset. Do have a lovely day!

Love Yourself!!!

Hello ladies and gentlemen…

my topic today says; love yourself

I read a very sad story this morning on Facebook of a “young lady” that committed suicide after being jilted. According to the story, she’d been in a relationship with a young man who broke up with her after about 12yrs in a relationship. Painful…sad, I know…  but suicide??? Really? Over someone who didn’t see or “forgot” your value? That’s extreme.

A breakup is always painful if you’re the one jilted. C’mon, get angry, cry if you feel like it! You feel let down, disappointed, unappreciated, taken for granted… It’s normal to feel those things. Don’t  bottle the anger or pain. It’s allowed and a very crucial part of healing. Move on with your life. Someday, someone who sees your value, who understands and appreciate you’ll come by. To commit suicide over a breakup means, you never valued or appreciated yourself. You let someone else be your source of happiness. You simply don’t love yourself enough to be your own source of joy, to hold your life dear. lt’s your life afterall.

Anyone in a relationship should be mature enough to know it’s never a done deal. It could go either way. Therefore, never tie your entire life on another person’s decision or mindset. It could work or not and it’s never a do or die affair. If it works out, oh! Good! If not, dust yourself, move on. That, it didn’t work, might not be because of things you didn’t do a certain way. Maybe, you just weren’t compatible. Someone else who might understand you better or be exactly what you’ve needed all along would come by, when you let go.

Committing suicide over a fellow who waited for 12yrs to make a decision on a relationship? If it didn’t work, it’s simply because one person was dissatisfied all along. You should’ve seen the handwriting on the wall and moved on. I implore us all, let’s use our head when necessary in a relationship and not lose our heart or life over someone that ordinarily didn’t matter.

Do have a lovely day, you all!

Did I Advocate Promiscuity??? Hell No!!!

Hello ladies and gentlemen…

 

Some months back I talked about situations that might have aided insecurities/uncertainties that so many ladies in our society faces in their various relationships . And why a lot of the singles out there now “heed” to this advise; https://kareninspirational.com/2017/03/23/all-eggs-in-one-…u-for-or-against/

-which ordinarily isn’t ideal. The post being referred to was titled-

“All Eggs In One Basket/ Are You For Or Against???”

Personally, I detest unfaithfulness in a relationship. It’s just not in me to ignore irresponsible/unruly behavior in a relationship, unless I’m unaware. Be that as it may, a lot depends on how the perpetrator viewed his/her action.​

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However, that’s not what this post is about.  A comment on my Facebook page  Kareninspirational For Singles-  got to me. I’d like to explain more here. Although I replied, I felt he still didn’t get what I was on about at the time. I’d intended then, to respond through a new post- knowing well,  he might not had been the only one who misunderstood the previous post, but other things got in the way. So, here we are;
It was just that single question. But was it loaded?! Lol! He asked why I gave such offensive advice, “encouraging people to cheat in their relationships,” paraphrased. He asked what I intended to achieve. “It was deceitful of me”. He quipped.  Well… I responded by advising him to peruse the article again to grasp what it was truly about.

What got to me however was how men are quick most times to defend oppressive “norms” in our society. Which mostly work in their favour. Some of the defensive techniques now being displayed by some female folks were improvised to cub the thoughtless and callous attitudes of some men.

​As a single lady in my opinion, if the relationship isn’t serious, no commitments whatsoever. Why hang on to it? Even if you’re engaged. Do you aspire to become “Lord of the Rings?” There has to be a reasonable period of time, you could wait for someone.  Move on if commitment isn’t forthcoming. Don’t lie to yourself, if things aren’t working out, you can feel it already. Don’t be desperate. Don’t force yourself on someone who has made you an option or a backup strategy. The thing is- eventually you may regret it. If you found the courage to move on- never allow yourself to be blackmailed. Some will psych you into believing it didn’t work because you left. Really?


The hard truth is- some spend years in a relationship only for a partner to break up, leave at the doff of a hat, with some flimsy excuse or without any in some cases. Now- place a lady that entered such a relationship at 24/25yrs of age in this scenario- say 3 to 4yrs later. She’s left to start afresh, to cultivate a new relationship from the scratch. Say, she’s 28/29yrs or thereabout at this time. Why should this lady hang on to you or date you exclusively for two/three yrs if you’d refused discussing where the relationship was headed?
https://kareninspirational.com/2017/03/23/all-eggs-in-one-…u-for-or-against

On this particular post above, I didn’t actually  advocate promiscuity ” Not putting all the eggs in one basket.” Doesn’t necessarily mean cheating. A lady could date casually, no intimacy or all that. All she needs is to be open minded.  The  aim for dating is to know a bit more about the person. However I pointed out that I totally grasp the reasons behind not  wanting to be exclusive with someone who’s uncommitted to the relationship.

​Has anyone noticed how vocal and agitated some men become if anything or anyone threatens the paradigm? The status quo? It  baffles me that someone who failed to define his relationship after a year or two would feel he’s entitled to exclusive relationship, when he has made absolutely no iota of commitment to that relationship. Shouldn’t that be likened to one “eating his cake and having it still?”

What’s your view on this issue? Do share it with me on here. Have a wonderful day you all!