I observed our various societies candidly over time and realized there is a problem concerning the way the societies across the globe, especially here in Africa view ladies in this category… A category which I must confess I myself fall into.
I don’t know much about other continents but when it comes to Africa, I have lived in two countries at least to know enough about their cultures, traditions etc.
First and foremost, once one enters these much dreaded numbers…30, 31, and counting… it begins to appear like one failed in life because to the African way of thinking, you should have about, 4 to 5 kids at this stage in life.
As funny as this may sound ( smiling as I type…) it’s the reality on ground. No matter your various achievements, no one seems to care… family maybe civilized enough not to openly inquire about your plans towards marriage or the state of ones love life as the case maybe.
If you are a workaholic, this might suddenly become a source of serious concern to them. Remarks like when does she go out? Lol. When was the last time she was out on a date? At this rate she may never marry becomes the murmur behind ones back.
The issue doesn’t stop there o… oh! U wish… It goes on and on…
Married friends attitudes suddenly changes, God help you if they all settled before you. They begin to insinuate reasons for your being single still… like everyone was born to run on the same clock. Oh! C’mon people! Live your lives, leave us alone.
Men attitude changes too, it becomes as if hanging out with such a lady is like doing her a favour.
Some gravitate towards you maybe for whatever financial gain they can get from this relationship…”relationship”? I should call it affair.Lol. Not all though…my advice, date those that have known you for a while and came because they know and like you, no surprises if you can help it.
The pressure to marry has sent so many women into abusive relationships and marriages. So please… my fellow ladies,do not panic… relax, make yourself happy, have fun, live your life, if it’s yours… it will get to you no matter what.
I am going to talk more about certain attitude some women in their 30s ignore when in relationships with men, which often lead to divorces, if you are lucky or even 6ft below if you aren’t. All the signs are always present during “courtship”,”relationship” before marriage proper.
Wait a minute, don’t frown yet, I’m not saying it’s only those that marry late that encounter such. I’m only saying that they tend to ignore a lot of these signs due to societal pressure to marry or become mostly irrelevant, disrespected in the society, be it your community, workplace, market place, even in churches at times…yeah even in churches…
I will also like to use this means to reach out to singles in general. Both gentlemen and ladies, making suggestions on how we could escape avoidable mistakes, unnecessary heartaches, abuses and all sort, in our relationships. It would be an honor if others with like minds could join me here to discuss issues affecting our relationships on a daily basis and ways to make it work and move on to the next “stage”.
What do you think? You are free to share your personal view with me…you can also critize if you feel I’m wrong. What do I know? You may be right, who knows? Let’s share our views here on this platform…. have a lovely day you all.