“Being Insecure In A Relationship”

Hello ladies and gentlemen…

My today’s topic says;

Being Insecure In A Relationship

What does it mean to be insecure? Oxford English Dictionary defines insecurity as; uncertainty or anxiety about oneself/lack of confident in oneself.

Let’s bring this trait down to a relationship scenario. As simple and unfathomable as this trait sounds. A lot of people silently struggle with it. This trait manifest in various ways in people. In some, it makes them aggresive, in some, abusive, there are some that it makes see everyone or anyone around them as a threat. Usually, such person has no sense of self-worth. He/she might try to mask it by belittling others. Some show theirs by being overly jealous or always finding faults in other people.

My focus tonight is on the ladies especially, gentlemen aren’t exempted though. In my opinion a lot of women should really work on themselves. Develop a sense of self-love/self-worth. Everyone is unique in his/her own way. People treat you exactly how you treat yourself.

As a lady, how would you handle a situation, where you feel or know that your partner has been distracted in your relationship? Let’s say he has become noncommittal to the whole thing. I guess my question is, what exactly is the right call to make at this juncture? I’m no expert on the matter. What I do know from life experience is that you do not solve a problem by creating more. From my observations and a bit of research. I’ve come to understand that If your relationship is in a bad place, you don’t expect it to magically pull itself from a tight spot and become fully functional again by being bitchy, a pain in the neck, or disrespectful, mean, verbally/ physically abusive, lacking confidence in yourself, in your capabilities.

I think one’s best bet in such situation is- firstly, check yourself. Have you changed lately? Do you still listen to your partner? Do you still have serious talks about your relationship, way forward? Did you stop taking good care of yourself? Are you now nonchallant about those things he used to like about you? Do you still make efforts to spice up your relationship? Have you worked on those traits that your partner detests? Frankly, these questions raised here are for both parties. Male or female should be comfortable enough to ponder on such questions whenever things seemed rocky in one’s relationship. I believe it’s little things that actually builds strong relationships or break them.

Now- after mulling over the relationship, if one believes it’s entirely the partners fault, then try to communicate, discuss the issue in a mature manner. It would be an easier pill to swallow by one’s partner. If one opened the discussion by admitting he/she was ready to take the blame completely until he/she discovered, he or she wasn’t entirely the problem. At this point, there’s no point escalating things by laying it tick. Sticking to basics is always one’s best option. If your relationship matters to your partner, he/she will work on areas where conflicts, issues arises from but if he/she doesn’t care anymore. Grovelling won’t do you any good, you know? That’s where your self confidence comes in, mind you, I don’t mean pride. If your partner refuses to try make things work, with head held high, live your life. He/she may realize his/her mistake or not. What matters is that you don’t give anyone a free pass to make you miserable. What’s your view on this? Do share with us here.

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