GOING BACK TO AN EX

Hello ladies and gentlemen…

My today’s topic might touch a nerve. Sorry! Lol!

 

GOING BACK TO AN EX

Why Do We Romanticize The Past? Based on my observations on relationships. I’m of the opinion that most baggages one struggles with after a broken relationship is often created by oneself – by refusing to let go of the past.

 

Well- many attimes  we reminisce of the good old days. Tell tall tales of how it was a period in our lives matched by no other. We often paint it so good, everything else seems mundane. Well- I’m not here as an expert on the matter. I don’t know that it’s right or wrong. I believe as thumbs are different, so are people. We’re all unique in our ways and must’ve cogent reasons for our actions.

 

People all over the globe, keep searching for that particular person, they connect with on a different level. A feeling attested to be “real” by those lucky to have experienced it. Elusive as it often is- a risk, some’re willing to take though- no matter the race, colour, tribe, maturity, age, sophistication, exposure. Could it be the reason people rekindle old flame? Not all but a large number of people do reconnect or rekindle their broken relationships or wish they had done so.

 

What exactly is the rationale behind going back to an ex? I mean- if one is being honest…there must’ve been reasons it didn’t work out the first time; such as fights, pains, disillusionment, betrayals, etc. Until it was stretched beyond limit- then it crumbled! So why do we deliberately ignore the ugly parts? Romanticizing something that had its “rough patches. ” Most times, hoping for a chance to try again- expecting a different outcome, which is rarely the case.

The thing is-the odds are against the “hopelessly romantic” probably expecting   a better outcome.

  • Firstly, the issues that caused the breakup aren’t often ironed out when the partners reconnect. In the heat of the moment, it often seem trivial.
  • Secondly- time must have passed. Things might not be as they were. It could either gets better or worse. Quite a huge risk I must say. All that energy- to resuscitate something lifeless/broken? Why not Channel it into building something new?
  • Each partner in that relationship could be walking on eggshells to avoid confrontations, trying too hard to make things work. Not a good sign, because those underlying issues would be there waiting to burst, once guards are down.
  • The partner who invested more in that relationship could find him/herself working tirelessly to keep it alive.
  • There might be changes that’d occurred while both were separated. For instance, the once lively, warm, exciting daredevil of a partner, who wasn’t afraid of trying something new, might have become a prude. It’d take a lot more than affection but a unique strong bond to make such work.

Now- having pointed out few of the numerous odds against one. The question is; is it worth it?

 

I’m not against anyone who wishes to try. Life is all about risks after all. I don’t encourage it either. It’s solely the individual involved that knows if it’s worth the risk and efforts or not. What I do know is that- when we stop romanticizing the past. Fewer people would wish to go back to an ex. Looking at one’s past dispassionately- seeing things as they truly were might just be the much needed cold bath, that would pull one back to reality. Haha..

How Do You Handle An Opinionated Partner???

Hello ladies and gentlemen…

Wow! It’s been a long while! Well-my topic today says;

How Do You Handle An Opinionated  Partner ???

Lol! I know… exasperating right? Who doesn’t know how infuriating this trait could be?

Now- to an extent, I think most people can attest to having been with someone with such trait at a certain point in their lives. A healthy dose of argument here or there doesn’t hurt anyone, when you and your partner are sure-footed but when a partner is vulnerable- it begins to sound condescending to him or her.

 

Personally, I love putting my points of view out there, expecting others to do same. So that the most sensible, takes the day. What a thrill such exercise gives! But recently I’ve become a bit more sensitive. Lol! I’m serious. In my excitement during most arguments, I never truly see how miffed the other parties often are- to them most times, it’s exhausting and could lead to secret resentment. You become something of a “know it all.” Lol! Opinions are free. Cheaper than a dime, a dozen. Haha.. Oh well! What can I say?

Back to my topic. Usually, having an opinion on issues that I’m interested in, was quite natural to me. In fact, it was like a sport. By observing a situation-subconsciously an opinion is already formed in my mind, which I’d voice out every chance I got. But recently, I was opportune to be in the company of  opinionated fellows- whoa! At first I was like, it’s just an harmless personal opinions. But as it escalated- became so regular. I actually felt violated! Whatthehell???

Now- don’t get me wrong. I still believe, I’d never intentionally force my opinions down anyone’s throat. Mine is always an honest perception but strictly mine. Even at that, I’m always eager to compare note with someone else’s view. There’s nothing I appreciate more than being convinced with  concrete points, that another’s view is more appropriate  than mine. So you can imagine my chagrin when I recently met two different people, not even same sex, who thought their opinions were the only one acceptable. It was foreign to me. As an adult, I believe everyone is entitled to his/her opinion. Why not?

At this stage in life, c’mon… one already knows things one likes or not, his/her preferences. For instance, you don’t like a certain lifestyle, food, drink or mode of dressing and someone out there, an adult like yourself, is hellbent on convincing you, that you actually do. But just “didn’t ” know it. Haa! Really? And surprisingly, he/she miraculously does? I’m not talking about acquired taste here- my focus is on the regular things that defines you.

What’s my point? Well- these two unrelated encounters taught me a valuable lesson in life. There’s this consciousness in me presently gliding towards how others may perceive my honest opinions. How’d you feel if your partner disagrees with every suggestion you make concerning your relationship? If he/she always feels his/her opinion is more superior? Not knowing you concede only to avoid unnecessary confrontations/bloodletting? Believe you me, it left a bitter taste in my mouth! Lol! I didn’t like that feeling one single bit.

What’s your view on this issue? Have you ever encountered such? What’s the best approach in your opinion? Share with us- it might help someone out there.