Hello ladies and gentlemen…
I’m here again with one of those topics that we’d rather not talk about and quite uncomfortable with. My today’s topic is a question to singles. Ladies and gentlemen;
What Did You Learn From Your Previous Relationship/s ???
Well- I promised right from the onset that I’d be your voice of reasoning, if you’d let me. What tangible lessons did we learn from our past relationships? There ‘re no breakups without reasons. There must be something that triggered that dissatisfaction, that led to the breakup even if it was neither acknowledged nor discussed.
Now- let me elaborate a bit. If you were in a relationship with someone; extravagant, mercurial in nature, a philanderer, abusive, temperamental, sadistic, aggressive and so forth. And you never got accustomed to a particular trait- among the traits mentioned above. That he/she exhibited which caused issues in your relationship. What did you learn from that relationship, about yourself, about your preference? Have you had a “me time” reminiscened on how you handled a particular situation? Or how you’d handle it if it presents itself again in the future.
Let’s take for instance in that relationship, you- and not your partner, were the problem. Let’s assume one’s partner was the one complaining about traits that one exhibited that wasn’t acceptable to him/her. Now- that you’re out of that relationship, ‘ve you thought about it? Have you honestly looked inward and taken notes of those traits that were intolerable to your previous partner? Although what might ‘ve been off putting to a particular partner might be endearing to another. This is where one needs to be alert, to know what works or not with one’s new partner. Don’t assume because “A” liked a certain trait you’ve, “B” should.
For instance, if you were in a whirlpool kind of relationship because you and your partner constantly fought over some shady issues. Eg. If one of you cheated repeatedly and lied about it. Now- if you were the problem. Have you learned from that terrible mistake? If your partner was the culprit, ‘ve you learned the tale tell signs of people with such traits? Could you easily identify someone with such personality given the chance for a few dates or would you still fall for the same trick?
Let’s say a particular trait/ attitude/appearance/complexion, attracts you to an individual of the opposite sex. And you have learned through experience that, such trait is irrelevant when it comes to building a relationship- would you still fall for that same trait? If you’re quick tempered, it takes a lot to learn how to rein in one’s temper. So, while working on how to control your temper, you may consider dating someone who isn’t ill-tempered as yourself.
If you’ve discovered you have issues with duplicity, then avoid deceptive men/women while venturing into another relationship. Take your time, study him/her well during the dating stage. If it isn’t what you’d hoped for, extricate yourself tactfully.
Why “do the same thing over and over and expect different results?” what I’m about this evening- isn’t if the breakup was one’s fault or not. My focus is on what it’d taught you.
We should always reminiscence after a failed relationship before going into another, to avoid making the same mistakes, over and over. Let’s be observant enough to learn a tangible lesson from a relationship that didn’t work out.
Share your view or past relationship experience and what it has taught you with us. Let’s have fun while at it!