Abusive Relationships 

Hello ladies and gentlemen…

My today’s topic says;

Abusive Relationships 

Anyone in a relationship knows where it pinches. If the relationship is healthy- you feel it just by how contented you’re in it. If it’s in a rocky place, you’re aware. One of the most dangerous aspects of an unhealthy relationship is an abusive partner.

I’ve been told severally that it’s not healthy to be too careful when venturing into a relationship/marriage. “You won’t know by half, your partner’s behavior until you’d began to live together for a considerable period of time.” Agreed. But there ‘re always some telltale signs. We often just turn a blind eye.

An Abusive Partner–  there ‘re several forms of abusive behaviors a partner could exhibit occasionally which shouldn’t be ignored. However, my focus today is on-  physically/verbally abusive partners. The bullies!

Let me explain why I chose those two. Well- they ‘re practically a couple. Lol

A verbally abusive partner to me, is almost as deadly as a physically abusive partner. The only major difference is that the scars aren’t visible unless you prod.  There ‘re some words that could punch one’s psych(Pierce one’s heart), cause more damages than a thunderous slap. A partner can verbally reduce his/her partner to a low self-esteemed shell. Callous words that could hurt harder than a kick on the shin. Sends you reeling into self-doubt until depression sets in.

The thing is- both ladies and gentlemen should avoid/terminate such relationships. No matter the investments- financially/mentally or time wise. At times when we hear “abusive relationship” we wave it off or view men solely as the culprits. Sadly it’s not a gender thing per se. Men- agreed,  ‘ve  higher tendencies of being abusive in a relationship/ marriage. Fact is- some women are abusive too. Theirs rarely come in a physical form though.

It could manifest in a verbal or emotional form.  So it’s paramount to be observant while in a relationship/courtship. Observe how your partner handles issues/ situations, anger,  before taking that crucial step. Don’t rush into marriage because of societal/peer pressure to become part of statistics of domestic violence, that graces the social media daily these days.

If a partner lashes out during a little misunderstanding. We make excuses like; I pushed him/her too far. I said things that got him/her upset. Hmm…mm? Really? A verbally abusive partner could lead his/her partner into suicidal thoughts. No jokes. On the other hand, a physically abusive partner is actually a confirmed bully. There’s no way you’d date and venture into a relationship with a bully without that awful trait rearing it ugly head, once in a while. They often’ve dictatorial nature, mostly possessive, ill-tempered, opinionated, often caring and remorseful after hitting their partner. The chronic ones are quite callous. They don’t give a damn about their partner’s welfare after a fight.

The rate ladies are dying in abusive relationships ‘ve escalated over the years. There’s need to be alert in one’s relationship. No one knows the baggage the other partner is roaming about with undetected. It could be anger issues, trust issues, psychopathic nature, possessiveness or even obsession. At this stage it’s easy to get away-run without a backward glance, once violence tendencies is discovered in a partner. Breaking up a relationship is by far easier- it wouldn’t be that easy when married already, probably with kids.

Now ladies, the truth is-no matter the offense. He has no right to hit you but that doesn’t mean one should goad or dare one’s partner into provocation thoughtlessly during a fight. My humble advice? State your grievances in a mature manner, no point being verbally abusive. Men are human beings too with emotions. Don’t push your partner overboard. But If you are battered in that relationship/marriage regularly then leave. You simply aren’t compatible. Sorry…!

Well- an abusive partner hardly changes without help. It all depends though. Is the “ring” worth the risk?

 

 

 

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