The “Delusions About Cheating”

Hello ladies and gentlemen…

My topic today says;

The Delusions About Cheating

Now what do we understand by the term delude ? The English dictionary defines it as ; ” to deceive into believing something which is false; to lead into error; to dupe.”Now that was self explanatory. What is cheating in this context? Unfaithfulness in a relationship.

Ladies and gentlemen, look around you. Cheating is becoming a culture in our African society. A disgusting vice yet viewed  as “normal.” Both men and women  all out-doing themselves these days in the game of being unfaithful to their partners. Worse? They all try to justify this nauseating act. Pathetic!

Men now call themselves “polygamous in nature.” Hmm mm? Really? Women cite negligence by their partners as reasons for this dangerous indulgence. Tall excuses! Lack of discipline I’d say…

Check out countries where cheating is abhorred; leads to divorces and hefty settlements and  tell me if the cheating rate in such countries equals those of countries where everything goes. Check countries where cheating wives are left with almost nothing during divorce settlements and tell me the percentage of those randomly caught having affairs.

As for singles, those with their self respect intact do not condone  such total disregard and tactless attitudes from their partners. Only someone with low self-esteem will accommodate such destructive vice from a partner , which will eventually lead to misery.

What am I saying? Here in Africa the delusion has gotten out of hand. Both men and women keep giving flimsy excuses why they cheat.  As a young woman, you keep strings of boyfriends. Whatever for? Material gains? For how long does any of those gains last?

A bachelor supposedly in a relationship/courtship, strings a number of girls along. How would he get it right through all those distractions? How would you ascertain your compatibility with any of them?

This “smartness” (as termed by the perpetrators) some  exhibit in the youthful age, is what breakup homes in the future. You delude yourself into believing your own lies. You unwittingly begin to view cheating as “normal”, which it isn’t.

I have this unflinching view about cheating. I believe to cheat is by choice. There are people that won’t cheat no matter what. It isn’t that they don’t meet interesting guys or ladies out there more attractive, vibrant, livelier than their partner, but because they are disciplined, contented with what they have. It’s not about “lack of opportunity.”

Understandably most of our forefathers married lots of women. Some had 3,4 wives or more and concubines too. Some of our fathers followed same pattern. Obviously seeing it as the norm.

I have a simple question. How many of the ancient  practices are still in existence? Besides things aren’t always black or white. There are always grey areas in life. How are we sure the polygamy practice of the past was a vice? Or a show of wealth? It could have been born out of necessities at that time.

As a bachelor or lady in a relationship. I implore us all. Let’s  not treat cheating with levity. Don’t ignore it or make excuses for such partner. That- “after all we aren’t married yet”crap should stop. Whatever you tolerate in a relationship is assumed you will accept in marriage. Imagine a situation where anyone cheated on, views such as unacceptable. He or she makes a firm move, leaves the toxic relationship. Cheating will grind to a halt.

The world has changed. There are numerous health hazards such careless attitude could breed. Let’s respect our partners and exude decorum at all times. This is the 21st century. Any man or woman that cheats on you has no iota of respect for you.

Secondly, understand this fact;  if he/she cheats on you while in the relationship. There’s a 60% likelihood he/she will do same again in marriage.

By cheating your partner, you degrade him or her. You make your partner insecure by trashing his or her self worth. You make him/her feel inadequate. It’s a nasty and insensitive act.

Africa has advanced, we have come a long way. Africa has stopped uncountable barbaric practices. It’s time we left this insensitivity behind too. Let’s begin to treat our partners with love and respect. Fact is, a nicely treated partner will definitely yield what you are yearning for and searching for out there. What you plant is what you reap. Lol

What do you think? Share your view on this topic with me. This is simply mine… what do I know? Share yours or criticize, it’s allowed.

 

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