ARE YOU OBSERVANT/ DO YOU PAY ATTENTION WHILE IN A RELATIONSHIP ???
This evening I will be talking more on that very complicated and much avoided issue we discussed some months back.
LOWERING ONE’S STANDARD
Yes that one. Lol! Let’s roll! All my life I can’t remember ever coming across any article, a movie or a book that went against that belief. In fact I haven’t seen anyone who spoke out against that wonderful advise. Hahaha… have you? Sadly I have always had this dread deep in my stomach , that I might not be alright since I viewed it right from the very first time, I could understand what relationship is about, as an unadulterated piece of crap. Lol Strong huh? Well, hear me out first.
It’s not that I don’t see lowering of standard as a perfect means to an end. Believe me, I see the necessity…I also see the society at the rescue when it backfires. Lol. Shocked? Well, they do come to the rescue if you seek for their help through a divorce case. Lol. I’m also not generalizing here, it works at times, mostly in a perfect world, where most married couples “claim” to be the happiest. Lol.
Really? So where do those with “irreconcilable differences” come out from? Mars? The pressure to settle down is so strong that you see people with little or nothing in common tying the knot everyday, even in fictional books or movies written by individuals. I must tell you the truth. I see some “about to Wed couples”, I just shake my head. It’s true that opposite attracts, I concur, that’s not where I’m headed. I’m talking about something more “personal”.
You admire and like the “bold” type. Those that know their mind and can’t easily be swayed, someone in control of his affairs, authoritative. I’m not talking in monetary terms, here. These are personality traits. Do you really want to be saddled for the rest of your life with a whiner? Someone who sees every or any unfavourable circumstance in his life as someone else’s fault. Who sits and moan about everything. Lol. Are you sure you can cope with that? Or will the same society, that pressured you into that same marriage come to your rescue via the “last resort” divorce/annulment matters ? Are you getting the picture?
- You need a man who can at least care for his family when you build one, there you are, walking down the aisle with someone who can’t keep a job for a month?
- You are organized, plan your weeks, months and make plans for the future ahead of time, yet you “lower “, until that, “spend drift”, (spender)? That gambler? Seemed like the one? Oh no! You are shopping for disaster recipe . Lol. It would get to a time you start hiding money from your partner just to keep that little remaining, from melting down like a candle wax. Any amount , he gets vanishes into thin air. I mean, it’s okay, if you didn’t know about this traits before tying the knot. Well, you bear your cross. But when you knew? C’mon, for how long can you cope with that?
- You love kids. Yet, you plan to walk down the aisle with a man who can’t stand kids? Who seems not to care whether kids exist in this world or not? Who wouldn’t even care in the future whether his kids are well-trained or not. Surprised? Such people exist, won’t go into that though.
I could go on and on. What am I saying? It should be mostly about what you believe you can overlook. What’s the point of marrying a man you grow to hate along the line? A man whose fault was thinking you would accept him, as he is.
The way I view it, men study women they want to settle down with to an extent. They make sure they can at least cope with 50/60% of your character traits, while you are busy, day dreaming about your wedding day.haha…
Have you observed your man? Are you compatible? I have observed that friendship, last longer among similar beliefs, principles? I’m not saying identical behaviours, just some similarities. These are my personal views my ladies.
Lowering your standard so as to tie the knot with your future life partner, should be done carefully. Be sure you can cope with the character traits, the social differences, the educational differences. So as not to smother someone son with hatred, unconscionable attitude in your home later in life.
You can’t be filled with hate and a certain attitude in your matrimonial home tomorrow and expect that home to be a happy home.
Ponder on that my ladies this wonderful evening.
Have a lovely evening, you all!