My today’s topic says;
FOCUSING ON REAL RATHER THAN IDEAL PICTURE
I have tried to always focus on reality rather than painting an idealistic picture, however something I came across recently, got me thinking. A guy asked a lady how she felt when a guy she rejected in the past, married before her, while she’s still single.
As a matter of personal opinion I think this line of reasoning shouldn’t even arise in the first place because, life decisions to me is a matter of choice. If she didn’t accept him, he should move on, no need to be petty or moan… about it. Pettiness is a sign of insecurity if you ask me. There’s no need living in the past.
What were her reasons? People that reasons the same way as that young man should grow up, they should also ask themselves the obvious questions,such as what prompted her action? For instance if she couldn’t connect with him, felt they weren’t compatible, afraid of him, if he showed the tendencies of being abusive, a serial cheat and so on. How would you know since you weren’t in her shoes?
I’m not cheering anyone here but as a lady, at one point or another in one’s life, one might have rejected “proposal/s”. But it was never for no reason. Most won’t regret these actions…
Many women in Africa marry for the wrong reasons, some marry for security, some marry because they are of age and a man had proposed, some marry for convenience. In the ancient times, marriage of convenience were the best, the old folks will attest to that but in this 21century, is it the best?
A woman that rejected a man in the olden days would be forced by her parents to enter into that marriage of convenience often to raise her status in life if he’s wealthy or to solve other family financial problems for them. At that time, couples weren’t partners nor friends,everyone’s duty was mapped out and carried out dutifully but things have changed.
Presently, there are a lot of reasons people who practice this form of marriage may kill each other.
Most wives, work now or have businesses of their own. They will continuously meet other people who may be of their own age bracket, of like mind, in their work place or businesses. If care is not taken,she “forgets ” her status because there’s no bond at home.
If she accepted because of his wealth, this same wealth may be used to go create her own fun group if there’s none at home unlike before, that their place was in the kitchen. Or she might actually divorce him and walk away with the very wealth that was used to entice her in the first place. Lol
She might even destroy her man’s life or shorten his life span due to unnecessary stress she will keep dishing on him or just out rightly make his entire life miserable with her unconscionable behaviors.
What am I saying? My point is that it’s even better a lady rejected you because she felt she couldn’t be with you than follow you because of what she could get from you and goes on to give you hell…Lol
My advice to this generation is this… things have changed, our mothers stayed in their marriages for better or worse but in this generation they aren’t towing that line….So I see nothing wrong in being careful, looking well before you leap so as to minimize rushing out within a short while.
For guys that exhibit the same attitude with that young man asking a lady such question. If rejected by a lady… move on with your life and know within you that maybe you weren’t meant to be. If you were, somehow, you would be because in life , I believe in “faith”.
That’s all I have to say for now, will be back soon!