SHOULD THE RELIGION WE PRACTICE- BE TO IMPRESS OR TO TEACH MORAL STANDARDS AND MAKE US BETTER INDIVIDUALS?/ MY VIEW.

Hello ladies…

This morning I will be talking about one of those topics we don’t usually want to talk about in our societies.

The topic says;

Should The Religion We Practice, Be TO Impress Or TO Teach Moral Standards And Make Us Better Individuals? My View.

Now, what do we understand by the word Religion? There is an apt definition from the English dictionary; “Any practice that someone or some group is seriously devoted to.”

Now, that’s the exact definition that explains completely what I’m about to share my view on. Let’s take for instance Christianity. This is a form of religion that has penetrated every nook and cranny in Africa. My question this morning is; Is it still about moral standard? Is it still about being or doing good? Is it still about helping the less privileged? Is it still about speaking against injustice? Is it still about speaking against evil in the society? Is it still against immorality? Is it still about changing lives for the better? Is it still about making the world a better place?

Sorry pals… I don’t want to sound judgmental or self-righteous this morning but you just have to bear with me. It is getting out of hand. There are fanatics in every religion. Does it change much?…. the answer is, NO! On the Capital… lol.

If you observe the behaviors, all around you, there isn’t really any moral difference, nothing has changed. They aren’t any better. In a corrupt society like ours, you wait for them, the fanatics, the religious leaders to speak out, to criticize, to show they are of higher moral standard but nothing. No one leads by example here. I know I’m not supposed to judge. Hear me out first. These behaviors wouldn’t bother me much if it isn’t taken too far. It is practiced right inside the church. Backbiting, envy, wickedness, politics,thievery and all sorts of things.

In some places of worship, if you aren’t wealthy or a known figure, no one cares about your salvation… sad right? Well…that’s a fact.

Now what was the aim of this particular religion when it was introduced? To make us better. Right? To teach us about a supernatural God, who can do all things, if we believe and conform to a certain moral standard, right? To teach us morals. No? 

Now what is moral? The English dictionary says; “conforming to standard of right behavior ;sanctioned by or operative on one’s conscience or ethical judgment.” Now…that was self explanatory… 

I want to know if I’m wrong but according to our earlier definition of religion, which I must point out this continent is jam-packed with, the expected result isn’t the outcome here. 

I know it will be unfair to blame all our woes on new found religions, maybe parents should do more on teaching morals to their kids at tender age, the folklores of the past shouldn’t be totally forgotten, the story books of the good being rewarded for doing good.

The church should tone down on preaching “Grace”. Yes, I mean it. Church/ mosque should emphazise more on the rewards for doing right. Enough of this prosperity nonsense.

There are other values in life that, when followed, one will accomplish a lot more and live a fulfilled life with principles, others can emulate. It’s shouldn’t be all about riches and grace. 

If we all practice the principles of the golden rule. I believe it will make us better individuals, instead of the present quagmire religions plugged us into…

Lol

Well…that’s  all I have to say for now.

Bye ladies…will be back soon!

 

ARE YOU OBSERVANT/DO YOU PAY ATTENTION  WHILE IN A RELATIONSHIP ???

Hello ladies…

ARE YOU OBSERVANT/ DO YOU PAY ATTENTION  WHILE IN A RELATIONSHIP ???

This evening I will be talking more on that very complicated and much  avoided  issue we discussed some months back.

LOWERING ONE’S STANDARD 

Yes that one. Lol! Let’s roll! All my life I can’t remember ever coming across any article, a movie or a book that went against that belief. In fact I haven’t seen anyone  who spoke out against that wonderful advise. Hahaha… have you? Sadly I have always had this dread deep in my stomach , that I might not be alright since I viewed it right from the very first time, I could understand what relationship is about, as an unadulterated piece of crap. Lol Strong huh? Well, hear me out first.

It’s not that I don’t see lowering of standard as a perfect means to an end. Believe me,  I see the necessity…I also see the society at the rescue when it backfires.  Lol. Shocked? Well, they do come to the rescue if you seek for their help through a divorce case. Lol. I’m also not generalizing here, it works at times, mostly in a perfect world, where most married couples “claim” to be  the happiest. Lol.

Really? So where do those with “irreconcilable differences” come out from? Mars? The pressure to settle down is so strong that you see people with little or nothing in common tying the knot everyday,  even in fictional books or movies written by individuals. I must tell you the truth. I see some “about to Wed couples”, I just shake my head. It’s true that opposite attracts, I concur,  that’s not where I’m headed. I’m talking about something more “personal”.

You admire and like the “bold” type. Those that know their mind and can’t easily be swayed, someone in control of his affairs, authoritative. I’m not talking in monetary terms, here. These are personality traits. Do you really want to be saddled for the rest of your life with a whiner? Someone who sees every or any unfavourable circumstance in his life as someone else’s  fault. Who sits and moan about everything. Lol. Are you sure you can cope with that? Or will the same society, that pressured you into that same marriage come to your rescue via the “last resort” divorce/annulment matters ? Are you getting the picture?

  • You need a man who can at least care for his family when you build one, there you are,  walking down the aisle with someone who can’t keep a job for a month?
  • You are organized, plan your weeks, months and make plans for the future ahead of time, yet you “lower “, until that, “spend drift”, (spender)? That gambler? Seemed like the one? Oh no! You are shopping for disaster recipe . Lol. It would get to a time you start hiding money from your partner just to keep that little remaining, from melting down like a candle wax. Any amount , he gets vanishes into thin air. I mean,  it’s okay,  if you didn’t know about this traits before tying the knot. Well,  you bear your cross. But when you knew? C’mon, for how long can you cope with that?
  • You love kids. Yet, you plan to walk down the aisle with a man who can’t stand kids? Who seems not to care whether kids exist in this world or not? Who wouldn’t even care in the future whether his kids are well-trained or not. Surprised? Such people exist, won’t go into that though.

I could go on and on. What am I saying? It should be mostly about what you believe you can overlook. What’s the point of marrying a man you grow to hate along the line? A man whose fault was thinking you would accept him, as he is.

The way I view it, men study women they want to settle down with to an extent. They make sure they can at least cope with 50/60% of your character traits, while you are busy, day dreaming about your wedding day.haha…

Have you observed your man? Are you compatible? I have observed that friendship, last longer among  similar beliefs, principles? I’m not saying identical behaviours, just some similarities. These are my personal views my ladies.

Lowering your standard so as to tie the knot with your future life partner, should be done carefully. Be sure you can cope with the character traits, the social differences, the educational differences. So as not to smother someone son with hatred, unconscionable attitude in your home later in life.

You can’t be filled with hate and a certain attitude in your matrimonial home tomorrow and expect that home to be a happy home.

Ponder on that my ladies this wonderful evening.

Have a lovely evening, you all!

 

 

Continue reading “ARE YOU OBSERVANT/DO YOU PAY ATTENTION  WHILE IN A RELATIONSHIP ???”

HOW DO WE TACKLE THE IMPACT OF MOTHER NATURE IN OUR LIVES? (BIOLOGICAL CLOCK)

Hello lovely ladies….

My topic today say;

HOW DO WE TACKLE THE IMPACT OF MOTHER NATURE IN OUR LIVES? (BIOLOGICAL CLOCK)

Now this is a very sensitive topic and concerns every woman out there. I’m going to try to paint a scenario most can identify with but remember, these are my personal opinions, my view on this very issue,  you could add yours, share your view or criticize. Lol. It’s all allowed. “No man is an Island ” they say.

This evening I’m using a peculiar approach to my topic, due to its sensitivity. Haha…you will get the picture asap.

Ladies… assuming you are currently in an examination hall. You are writing a tough exam, in a strict hall, spaced out. You were given 5 questions to answer 4. Each question has 25marks and 15mins accorded. You have started the exam and had answered 3 out of the 4 questions to pick during this examination completely, when the examiner bellows 10mins left to submit!  Or a timer announces. At this point in the exam, you still have an unanswered 25marks worth of  question. This said question should take at least 15mins on a normal circumstance.

My ladies my question this night is this; how will you handle this situation? Are you going to have a knee-jerk reaction, panic and probably make series of mistakes at this dying minutes? Or are you going to be calm… weigh your options, observe your questions. Decide which you could answer within the accorded time. Do it, then go through all your previous works, cross the “ts”, dot the “i”s?

Now let’s have that discussion. Let’s put that exam scenario into our lives as women. Every girl child is on a biological clock from the moment her puberty began to menopause, then old age. Are you getting the picture now? The pressure has been there, from society, from mother nature and the rest of them.

At this stage in life when nature calls out time to you as a lady. What do you think is the best approach towards it? Knee-jerk reaction, as in panicking? Will it solve much?Or the other option which is, keeping calm and deciding carefully one’s next move. Ladies, I really want to hear your personal views on which option you believe is better…

A person that makes series of mistakes in the panic may not have 2nd chance to correct them, such as bringing kids into a malfunctioned home, having kids with all sorts of miscreants.

Ladies, I’m not going to say much this evening, ponder on the above scenario and my suggestions. If it helps you in anyway, then I have accomplished something worth celebrating.

Have a wonderful  evening, you all…

 

FOCUSING ON REAL RATHER THAN IDEAL PICTURE

Hello ladies…

My today’s topic says;

FOCUSING ON REAL RATHER THAN IDEAL PICTURE

I have tried to always focus on reality rather than painting an idealistic  picture,  however something I came across recently, got me thinking. A guy asked a lady how she felt when a guy she rejected in the past, married before her, while she’s still single.

As a matter of personal opinion I think this line of reasoning shouldn’t even arise in the first place because, life decisions to me is a matter of choice. If she didn’t accept him, he should move on, no need to be petty or moan… about it. Pettiness is a sign of insecurity if you ask me. There’s no need living in the past.

What were her reasons? People that reasons the same way as that young man should grow up, they should also ask themselves the obvious questions,such as what prompted her action? For instance if she couldn’t connect with him, felt they weren’t compatible, afraid of him, if he showed the tendencies of being abusive, a serial cheat and so on. How would you know since you weren’t in her shoes?

I’m not cheering anyone here but as a lady, at one point or another in one’s life, one might have rejected “proposal/s”. But it was never for no reason. Most won’t regret these actions…

Many women in Africa marry for the wrong reasons, some marry for security, some marry because they are of age and a man had proposed, some marry for convenience. In the ancient times, marriage of convenience were the best, the old folks will attest to that but in this 21century, is it the best?

A woman that rejected a man in the olden days would be forced by her parents to enter into that marriage of convenience often to raise her status in life if he’s wealthy or to solve other family financial problems for them. At that time, couples weren’t partners nor friends,everyone’s duty was mapped out and carried out dutifully but things have changed.

Presently, there are a lot of reasons people who practice this form of marriage may kill each other.
Most wives, work now or have businesses of their own. They will continuously meet other people who may be of their own age bracket, of like mind, in their work place or businesses. If care is not taken,she “forgets ” her status because there’s no bond at home.

If she accepted because of his wealth, this same wealth may be used to go create her own fun group if there’s none at home unlike before, that their place was in the kitchen. Or she might actually divorce him and walk away with the very wealth that was used to entice her in the first place. Lol

She might even destroy her man’s life or shorten his life span due to unnecessary stress she will keep dishing  on him or just out rightly make his entire life miserable with her unconscionable behaviors.

What am I saying? My point is that it’s even better a lady rejected you because she felt she couldn’t be  with you than follow you because of what she could get from you and goes on to give you hell…Lol

My advice to this generation is this… things have changed, our mothers stayed in their marriages for better or worse but in this generation they aren’t towing that line….So I see nothing wrong in being careful, looking well before you leap so as to minimize rushing out within a short while.

For guys that exhibit the same attitude with that young man asking a lady such question. If rejected by a lady… move on with your life and know within you that maybe you weren’t meant to be. If you were, somehow, you would be because in life , I believe in “faith”.

That’s all I have to say for now, will be back soon!

EQUALITY BETWEET MEN AND WOMEN/ MY VIEW. ARE WOMEN UNDERRATED OR NONCHALANT  HERE IN AFRICA???

Hello ladies…

It has been a while…How are you all?
My topic today would be on my view on a delicate issue here in africa, the topic;

EQUALITY BETWEET MEN AND WOMEN/ MY VIEW. ARE WOMEN UNDERRATED OR NONCHALANT  HERE IN AFRICA???

 There are no clear answers to this topic, why? I will explain why. It’s true that we tend to jump right into whatsoever that is in vogue- the trend in the western world, trying so hard to fit in. We never really consider that human beings tend not to value what they didn’t struggle for. For instance women suffrage, voting rights were gained in some countries in the western world in the 19th century some western U.S states included.

First and foremost, what does this word suffrage mean? It means “the right or chance to vote, express an opinion or participate in a decision.” That’s according to the English dictionary.

Now,  politics aside… I know the reaction to this would be “now we are talking politics too?” Lol

How many women in our various African communities in this present generation are ready to become suffrages? How many have fought for their opinions on issues affecting their nations? How many have gone an extra mile to stop the status quo?

Some communities still practice traditions that are unfavorable to their women folk.  Some countries here in Africa leave enough room for women to thrive… the question is, do the women utilize these opportunities? Families train daughters through higher institution when majority of these hot brains can’t wait to marry some rich men and become house wives. Lol! Now as a house wife, what equality are you looking for? What partnership are you into?  (Smiling….)

In some areas in Africa, women are married off in their teens, what have their mothers done to fight this?  Child brides that we hear about. A daughter is married off at an early age. As early as between  12 and 13yrs of age. “Child abuse”, if you can’t fight for your little girl’s civil right as a mother, who would?

Some women are  driven out of their homes in some countries here in Africa, once they are widowed no matter how much she (the wife) contributed into making/building that very home( not necessarily in monetary aspect). How many suffragists have surfaced in such areas to fight for their rights?

Funny enough in this life, if you don’t take things that concerns you particularly seriously. Rarely will someone else break an arm or leg for you concerning that very issue. How many women in Africa are really at the  focal point? At political level, check out the type of women that contest during elections, some of them do not even get the votes of their immediate family members because they refuse to work as hard as the men during the campaigns. They make it appear as if it was all a joke. Their lackadaisical attitude towards issues is nothing to write home about. If you want anyone to take you seriously in life, first convince that person of your seriousness through actions.

African women are hard working, they are intelligent and a very patient breed but do they want to be treated as equals by men? Do they really want to be treated as equal with men? Do they want to be allowed to fight alongside male soldiers in wars fronts? Do they want to be car mechanics? Do they want to be bishops? Do they want to be governors? Do they want to rule our nations? Do they want to be buying lunches for male friends sometimes? Lol. Do they want to be heard and taken very seriously in our societies?

Those are the questions we need to answer before paying lips service to equality between men and women. It will make no sense to be agitating for equality with men while you on the same hand, plan to sleep your way to the top at the office… Lol

Did the male MD use “backdoor favours” to his female bosses to acquire such prestigious post, at the top? It wouldn’t make sense to fight for equality when you use your feminity to get “favours” from men every chance you get. If you want to be taken seriously, earn it through hard work. You will be noticed and accorded that respect… tough huh? It is, what it is…Lmao

Thank you all and have a wonderful evening…