“Lowering Your Standards”

Good evening lovely ladies…

My today’s topic is a tough question to ladies in their 30ties and above and single. The question is;

My  ladies, what do you understand by the term lowering your standards?

I am all for lowering of “standards” don’t get me wrong. I mean the standard you lower to become “mrs.” so so and so. I hope it’s not the type that would make you smother someone’s “son” (your”future”husband) with hatred or meanest attitudes few years down the road.

A lot of people will applaud a go getter who settled down with a very lazy man with no particular vision for his life. He might be the type that can’t hold on to a job, you have nothing in common. You talk about advancing your career, he talks of relaxing now because he has already achieved beyond his dreams. There was never any dream or vision to start with, only to marry and procreate,  of course. Lol

You can not stand a talkative, a gossip, an alcoholic, a pessimist, a fanatic, loud, unprincipled, an abuser… etc. My question this Thursday evening is; where do we draw the line on this “lowering of standard”?

Most women want to settle down someday and just like men, we do have vague, if not a clear picture of the kind of person we want to spend the rest of our lives with. No woman that hate loud mouthed  men for instance, wants to be saddled with one for the rest of her life. No woman with principles wants to be saddled with a criminal or a con-man for instance.

At this point in your life, most will be advised by loved ones to lower their standards that “none is perfect.” We all know this but are we to jump from fry pan to fire just to marry? If we aren’t at least 80% sure that we can overlook these character traits, why tie the knot? The truth is, there are things in our lives that “A” may overlook but it’s a no no, on the capital N for “B”.

Will it be worth the pain and misery to lower as much standard as there is, only to make someone else life miserable? Yours too?

I won’t say much this evening, like I said earlier, I’m all for lowering of standard but let’s be careful and wise about it. Every man out there envisioned a peaceful and happy home before he proposed. If you are hoping to change him or wished he could be more like Mr.”A or B”, maybe it’s time to reconsider your options…

Wishing you all a lovely weekend ahead…

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558 thoughts on ““Lowering Your Standards”

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  2. Interesting set of thoughts you have put forward. I dread to think what compromises my good lady made in choosing to marry me! What did she get? A transport and photography enthusiast who has degenerated into a football fan over the years and drinks more than he should. But we’re still together after 22 years so I guess something is good and there’s a lot of trust and loyalty between us 🙂 So I guess my little bit of advice would be along the lines of accepting that a man’s ‘unfashionable’ hobbies should not be a bar to at least trying him out in a date. You may find that he’s not quite as boring as you thought 😉

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Wow! 22yrs of marriage isn’t a small feat to accomplish these days. I understand your points and I quite agree. Well…it’s common sense to lower the bars of one’s expectations if unrealistic. But in this part of the world, a fiancé could tell his career driven wife to be- “once we’re married- you’d quit your job. Your new job would be caring for “my needs and keeping the house.” Now- tell me, a career lady, a go-getter that accepted these conditions just to marry, won’t she resent this husband of hers in the nearest future, for taking away her dream, her identity from her? This topic is quite deep. But the scenario painted above is just one of the situations I’m talking about.
      That said, thanks so much for your contribution! Coming from someone who’s been married for over two decades is quite a bonus. I’m glad you stopped by.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Thanks – point taken. I would never ask my wife to change her career – that’s her choice! Her identity except for the married name is entirely her own and I wouldn’t have it any other way. We even run our own finances with a central ‘house’ pot that we both pay into. Maybe that is part of the secret?

        Liked by 1 person

        1. That might just be it. Lol! Yes, you get it. There ‘re some that believe changing her name after marriage literally means wiping her identity, giving her a new set of purposes. Not giving a thought or finding out from her what her goals were- nor interested in helping her achieve, even exceed those goals.

          Liked by 1 person

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