Hello my beautiful ladies…
My topic today says;
“Red Flags In A Relationship”
Let’s quickly define a red flag. The English dictionary defines red flag as; ” (Idiomatic) A cue, warning, or alert, a sign or signal that something is wrong.” Well…that is self explanatory.
These are the red flags we ladies encounter most times at this stage in our lives, most ignore such.
Well, today I’m here to tell you it’s not a trivial matter. As my French neighbors would say;”c’est grave”.
- No communication:- you hardly communicate with each other, when you do; never on the same page. For instance, you have a misunderstanding over having a joint account in the future. You sweep it under the rug for peace sake, never mentioning it again even though you aren’t comfortable with the idea. You don’t see eye to eye on most issues.
- You do most of the work to keep your relationship going. You do the calling, apologizing even when he’s in the wrong.
- He never does anything for you, no matter how small the sacrifice, he won’t do it if it will be for you.
- He puts you down, makes you feel clumsy, worthless or useless. Your dressing is never up to par for him. Your educational qualification is never good enough. You don’t measure up, no matter what.
- Your phone rings, your heart jumps right into your throat in fear of what he might do if you answer it. Abusive tendencies; the accusations and all.
The sad truth is, most of us ladies see these signs everyday in our relationships but choose to overlook them. Why? Don’t get me wrong. One or two even three of those red flags could be managed while married but how many of them are you going to take? Bend over for? Before you breakdown? Before you lose it and become miserable?
If you are the jealous type, why excuse cheating habits each time? Why act like it’s okay when he cheats on you? Justifying it with “garbage” like ; “after all we aren’t married yet.” Really? A bon? As the French would say. Why pretend it’s okay, just to get the ring and start whining after marriage or embarrassing yourself playing detective?
Funny as hell when I come across such in the newspapers or social media where a wife caught her hubby here or there…( locking the ban after the goats escape?) quite sad. Why not put your foot down if it’s something you can’t endure in the long run?
The same people who would condemn you for leaving a man who cheats on you in a relationship. Tell you, it’s how men are wired, will suddenly find their voices when already in the marriage. What am I trying to say?
If you can’t take a cheating husband, do not overlook it at this stage just because you are single. If he makes you feel worthless and useless now, walk away now… Believe you me, its easier now than later.
If he abuses you now, either emotionally or physically, it’s better now than later. Whatever you allow now, it’s assumed it’s acceptable. Don’t go in due to societal pressure and end your life in misery or die a painful death.
I implore us all to, look inward my ladies. Don’t bury your heads in the sand anymore. Don’t let the society push you into a wretched life.
I respect the institution of marriage so much and I believe compatibility, friendship, mutual respect, understanding, compromise and love are on the ground that it should be built. Make reasonable compromises. Don’t let a sweet talker, talk you into a marriage you would throw away all your life principles on the altar of marriage. You may find yourself making all the adjustments until you lose yourself; whom you were. You become a shell of your old self.
Do away with that insecurity! Lol. You are still you. Don’t let anyone “peel” away gradually, your self esteem till you have none left. Relax…take a deep breath, let that smile on your face remain there till you sleep tonight… (smiling…) yes! That’s what I’m talking about!
Stay cool you all…