Set “Achievable Goals”

Hello my beautiful ladies…

I have an interesting topic this morning. I want to talk about;

“Achievable Goals”

OK, let’s roll…! What do we understand by the term goals? My English dictionary states that ” it is a result one is attempting to achieve.” Well, this definition is self explanatory, needs no elaboration. My lovely ladies, I’m here to suggest ways to improve ourselves this wonderful morning. I believe we all have certain skill/s at this stage in life. Self employed or working.

What are the “achievable” goals, you set at least each year for yourself? Have you done that this year? What are they? I used achievable because it means it’s possible to achieve it within the time you set for it. Marriage aside … my ladies (smiles). Achievers are liked and admired in every society. Those that try to make you feel inferior or inadequate as a single lady, unmarried and above 30yrs of age,in the society, will reduce drastically if you become an achiever. Lol

There’s another powerful goal you can set for yourself. We all have flaws, if we must tell ourselves the truth. I am not saying that married ladies  don’t have flaws. All I’m saying is to use the fact that it hasn’t happened yet to your advantage. Learn through others mistake, do not wait until it happens to you too.

Set a goal to work on your notable flaws. The aim is to enjoy your marriage when you finally tie the knot. Oh! Surprised? Well, these are achievable goals if you ask me.

-If you are hot tempered– set it as one of your achievable goals and be determined to accomplish it . Learn to control your temper or how to avoid confrontations .

-Are you bad mannered? Hahaha…

shocked? C’mon, if you are rude, snobbish…you know. Set a goal to become friendly, see it as something you can achieve, tough huh? I never said it will be easy…( smiles) goals work hand in hand with determination.

  • Opinionated? There’s nothing wrong in being your own person with your own views but learn to accept that others must not see it your way at all times. Learn to see things from another’s perspective.
  •  Are you aggressive? Lol. Let me ask you a simple question? How do you feel when someone else attacks you unnecessarily? If you don’t like it…then try to avoid doing same to other people you come across.
  • Impatient? Lol. I can so relate to this and some more …even though I know it’s not nice. Work on it.
  • Snobbish? This particular one is complicated because the person being viewed as a snob may not even be aware of it. Introverts are often lumped into this category because of their quiet nature. There are real snobs though….if you are one- you see others as your inferior…arrogant? Loosen up, come down a peg or two my lady.

I could go on and on. These are just instances. Goals keeps you busy- we all know how it feels to achieve a particular goal. Imagine how awesome it would be while you were pursuing your career, job, business goals of the year, you were also able to change from one or two of your personal flaws each year.

Also never compromise on a career goal set for a particular year, no matter the trials, the obstacles of life,keep your mind on these goals. They are achievable..

The end result will be a better version of one’s self.

Always try to be the best version of yourself, someone that deserves you will surely notice…

I would say that was a lovely food for thought for today. Have a wonderful day, lovely ladies!

“Lowering Your Standards”

Good evening lovely ladies…

My today’s topic is a tough question to ladies in their 30ties and above and single. The question is;

My  ladies, what do you understand by the term lowering your standards?

I am all for lowering of “standards” don’t get me wrong. I mean the standard you lower to become “mrs.” so so and so. I hope it’s not the type that would make you smother someone’s “son” (your”future”husband) with hatred or meanest attitudes few years down the road.

A lot of people will applaud a go getter who settled down with a very lazy man with no particular vision for his life. He might be the type that can’t hold on to a job, you have nothing in common. You talk about advancing your career, he talks of relaxing now because he has already achieved beyond his dreams. There was never any dream or vision to start with, only to marry and procreate,  of course. Lol

You can not stand a talkative, a gossip, an alcoholic, a pessimist, a fanatic, loud, unprincipled, an abuser… etc. My question this Thursday evening is; where do we draw the line on this “lowering of standard”?

Most women want to settle down someday and just like men, we do have vague, if not a clear picture of the kind of person we want to spend the rest of our lives with. No woman that hate loud mouthed  men for instance, wants to be saddled with one for the rest of her life. No woman with principles wants to be saddled with a criminal or a con-man for instance.

At this point in your life, most will be advised by loved ones to lower their standards that “none is perfect.” We all know this but are we to jump from fry pan to fire just to marry? If we aren’t at least 80% sure that we can overlook these character traits, why tie the knot? The truth is, there are things in our lives that “A” may overlook but it’s a no no, on the capital N for “B”.

Will it be worth the pain and misery to lower as much standard as there is, only to make someone else life miserable? Yours too?

I won’t say much this evening, like I said earlier, I’m all for lowering of standard but let’s be careful and wise about it. Every man out there envisioned a peaceful and happy home before he proposed. If you are hoping to change him or wished he could be more like Mr.”A or B”, maybe it’s time to reconsider your options…

Wishing you all a lovely weekend ahead…

What Did You Learn From Your Previous Relationship/s???

Hello ladies and gentlemen…

I’m here again with one of those topics that we’d rather not talk about and quite uncomfortable with. My today’s topic is a question to singles. Ladies and gentlemen;

 What Did You Learn From Your Previous Relationship/s ???

Well- I promised right from the onset that I’d be your voice of reasoning, if you’d let me. What tangible lessons did we learn from our past relationships? There ‘re no breakups without reasons. There must be something that triggered that dissatisfaction, that led to the breakup even if it was neither acknowledged nor discussed.

Now- let me elaborate a bit. If you were in a relationship with someone; extravagant, mercurial in nature, a philanderer, abusive, temperamental, sadistic, aggressive and so forth. And you never got accustomed to a particular trait- among the traits mentioned above. That he/she exhibited which caused issues in your relationship. What did you learn from that relationship, about yourself, about your preference? Have you had a “me time” reminiscened on how you handled a particular situation? Or how you’d handle it if it presents itself again in the future.

Let’s take for instance in that relationship, you- and not your partner, were the problem. Let’s assume one’s partner was the one complaining about traits that one exhibited that wasn’t acceptable to him/her. Now- that you’re out of that relationship, ‘ve you thought about it? Have you honestly looked inward and taken notes of those traits that were intolerable to your previous partner? Although what might ‘ve been off putting to a particular partner might be endearing to another. This is where one needs to be alert, to know what works or not with one’s new partner. Don’t assume because “A” liked a certain trait you’ve, “B” should.

For instance, if you were in a whirlpool  kind of relationship because you and your partner constantly fought over some shady issues. Eg. If one of you cheated repeatedly and lied about it.  Now- if you were the problem. Have you learned from that terrible mistake? If your partner was the culprit, ‘ve you learned the tale tell signs of people with such traits? Could you easily identify someone with such personality given the chance for a few dates or would you still fall for the same trick?

Let’s say a particular trait/ attitude/appearance/complexion,  attracts you to an individual of the opposite sex. And you have learned through experience that, such trait is irrelevant when it comes to building a relationship- would you still fall for that same trait? If you’re quick tempered, it takes a lot to learn how to rein in one’s temper. So, while working on how to control your temper, you may consider dating someone who isn’t ill-tempered as yourself.

If you’ve discovered you have issues with duplicity, then avoid deceptive men/women while venturing into another relationship. Take your time, study him/her well during the dating stage. If it isn’t what you’d hoped for, extricate yourself tactfully.

Why “do the same thing over and over and expect different results?” what I’m about this evening- isn’t if the breakup was one’s fault or not. My focus is on what it’d taught you.

We should always reminiscence after a failed relationship before going into another, to avoid making the same mistakes, over and over.  Let’s be observant enough to learn a tangible lesson from a relationship that didn’t work out.

Share your view or past relationship experience and what it has taught you with us. Let’s have fun while at it!

 

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Why Mistake Self-Worth For Arrogance???

Hello ladies and gentlemen…

My topic today says;

Why Mistake Self Worth For Arrogance???

What does this word arrogance mean? The English dictionary defines it as; “the act or habit of arrogating, or making an undue claim in an overbearing manner.” I believe that definition is self explanatory. Now- what is self-worth? The English dictionary comes handy once more; “one’s abilities in self assessment.” The interesting thing is- knowing your worth actually makes it necessary for you to respect “the worth” of  others.  It works both ways.

Have you noticed how some people get so intimidated, by anyone that has a mind of his/her own? People sort of bond quicker with the vulnerable, the weak. Those that have no say/uncomfortable in their own skin- wanting to be led by others or by the status quo, than those that tend to have personal convictions, opinions.  What’s my point? Well- a lady that has self-love would definitely have convictions on how she’s supposed to be treated by another individual. Take for instance. A low self-esteemed lady, gets into a relationship with a sadist, or a lowlife who maltreats or simply depress the life of out her by his thoughtless conducts. We are talking about an unhealthy relationship here.

She comforts herself; positions her mind- to the mindset that, “that’s how most relationships are.” She tells herself, “the grass always seems greener on the other side.” Although I believe this cliche has some truth in it. It sprouts the question; is there even grass within your vicinity?Permit me to speak metaphorically. What’re you comparing your situation with? How green it is, to me seems irrelevant when the lawn has dried up completely on your side of the lawn.

I often wonder why we Africans are so fixated on this issue of “marriage” especially concerning the ladies of marriageable ages. Aren’t there more perilous and overwhelming situations, we should focus on and tackle? If we remotely wish to attain civilization. It’s so bad that some would hate you for not being desperate about it. For going on with your life. For refusing to measure your contentment or achievement solely on a wedding-band fixed on your fourth finger. Some speak of nothing else, than speculate on why it doesn’t bother you.

Lol! Honestly, the question should be; why’re they so bothered? Sadly, when you’re thirty years of age or above and unmarried. I have realized people consciously or subconsciously, expect you to be sad, depressed- to ‘ve this gloomy aura of the doomed. That’s when they become ecstatic, delirious with joy!  “We thought she won’t feel it!” Now- there it is! They quip, enthusiastically. Sadistic creatures…haha. So, what? How exactly does being hopeless, depressed help anyone?

Anyone in this circumstance surrounded by such ugly devourers, who want to tear you down because you’ve refused to play by the rotten book; running around like a headless chicken. As if your life existence  depends on getting married. Separate yourself from such people, distance yourself, no matter how close these set of people are to you. They aren’t looking out for you. They are rather “small minded” people.

I don’t know why some people easily mistake self worth for arrogance. Self esteem to me simply means, respecting one’s self. Having confidence in yourself enough to have certain principles, you abide with. You don’t let pressure, circumstances or manipulations by others dither you. You simply hold your own, no matter what. How’s this audacious trait, maneuvered into something viewed with disdain? It baffles me.

If this topic spoke to you or you have a different opinion, about it. Please share it with us here, it might help someone out there.

 

Avoid Unnecessary Mistakes/Try This- In Your Relationship!!!

Hello ladies and gentlemen…

My today’s topic says;

Avoid Unnecessary Mistakes/ Try This- In Your Relationship!!!

There’s a saying that; “no two marriages are alike.” I believe that could be said for relationships too. As thumbprints are different, so are relationships. People from different orientations, with different personalities, trying to find a balance- a particular person that suits him/her. However, there’re still mistakes that are generally made while in relationships. I believe, learning from others mistakes- could save us from unnecessary headaches/heartaches in the future.

Growing up, I knew this particular couple. They were simply in sync. People loved and admired them. They courted for close to seven years. Then, they got married- the issues started, then, escalated! These two were almost living in each other’s apartment, during those years in courtship, they were quite close. Despite all that, within a year, their marriage, crumbled! It took me years, to appease my curiosity. Lol. For some reasons beyond my comprehension, I kept wondering… their breakup/divorce, gnawed at me. I wanted to know what could’ve caused the discord, within such a short period of time. Later I discovered, a lot of things they tolerated while courting, they couldn’t ingest during the marriage proper. It turned out to be a very costly mistake for both of them. After all those years, they parted as sworn enemies.

Now- these are the few points that I think might help us avoid costly mistakes in our relationships;

  • Ladies, let’s develop ourselves; know your dislikes; your likes; your strengths; your weaknesses; develop self-love;
  • Study your man; pay attention to little things- is he liberal or a conversative? Do you share similar values? Let’s observe these things, before accepting that proposal.
  • Does he want a spirited wife or a docile one?
  • Never have the mindset that you would change him.
  • Don’t  pretend during courtship-e.g. If you don’t like, mountain climbing – don’t pretend you do, just to convince him, you’re the one. In a nutshell, don’t accept whatever you plan not to accept in marriage proper.
  • Be yourself, be open-minded about the relationship.

Gentlemen- all those points listed above are applicable to men too. It’s paramount to know yourself, discover yourself before you uproot someone else from her rooted environment to share your life as your partner.

I discovered that, there are people who never  knew what they wanted out of life- not even their likes or dislikes, nor had any particular convictions, principles before tieing the knot. They just drifted; merging with other people’s identity, living on popular opinions until marriage. If he hadn’t even figured himself out. How’d he expect his partner to unravel all that?  Now- while in the marriage, this side of him, begins to rear its ugly head. Take for instance:-

  • A man that married a spirited lady only to realize, he actually preferred  a docile type- who wouldn’t ‘ve a mind of her own. Who wouldn’t be so opinionated, exerting. How would he not grow to resent the wife?
  • Or one that preferred energetic women; extroverts, lively, ending up with an introvert, only because he hadn’t known his preference at the time he got married. What do you think the outcome would be?

The thing is- mistakes are parts of learning. A life devoid of mistakes may not have adequate experience of what works or not. They’re the necessities of life but then- avioding a costly mistake whenever it’s possible, seems like one’s best bet.

What’s your thought on this post? I’m eager to hear your opinion.

Ladies Above 30 In Here!!!

Hello ladies and gentlemen…

Ladies Above 30- In Here!!!

I’m going to share a bit of myself on today’s post. Although I’m a very private person- an introvert to boot. All through my previous articles, I’ve tactfully distanced myself from my writeups. But something happened to me recently, that prompted me to share this here. I’m actually not sure why I’m sharing this here. For sympathy? I doubt. For understanding? For proper scolding from strangers? I don’t think so! To lighten the burden in my heart? Probably. Fact is- I’m not exactly sure why.

I ended my almost 3year old relationship just about 2months ago. We were already making plans for a future together. Well- this wouldn’t be a big deal if you aren’t in your 30ties and expected by everyone, to be settled in your husband’s house at this stage with kids of your own. Now- bring this scenario down to an African setting- i.e. Nigeria. Then you would realize how crazy, unimaginable, this action, sounds to many. I must be crazy to end a relationship at my “age” no matter what. I should be grateful a man even spoke to me, right? I should’ve crawled on my knees- “barked like a dog” or “hopped around until am commanded to do otherwise. To make sure I win the ring. No? ( borrowed from that hilarious scene from the classic “Coming To America”). What could be worse than being a spinster in Africa?

I’ve never been one to bother myself with what others think of me or my actions. For once in my life though, I was bothered. I was almost crushed not because I ended things but due to how some of my closest friends reacted to it- without even listening to the reasons behind my action. Like I mentioned in one of my previous articles- once your relationship is in a rocky place, you know it. Pretending all was well just to bag the “Mrs” title would’ve been living a lie, postponing the inevitable. When there’re conflicts of interest/problems/glaring differences, in a relationship- the  ability to admit these problems exists. Then, sorting out viable solutions to rectify them. To me, is the only way forward.

Sadly our society mostly care about the “Mrs” title and nothing more. Some viewed my action as foolish. Others, as an act of ignorance- to some, it portrayed   arrogance, silliness etc.

Well, we can’t all view marriage as a “do or die” affair folks. That, I’m in my thirties doesn’t mean I should desperately hang on to a man even when I see danger in doing so, nor does it mean I’m without a choice in deciding whom I should be with. It also doesn’t mean I shouldn’t pursue other goals of mine and live a moderately happy life while at it. And the truth is- we are not toddlers. I don’t think any lady above thirty years of age is looking for a “perfect man.” Wanting to share my life with a decent person isn’t too much to ask, or is it?

 

Cultivating A Relationship/Marriage To Acquire Wealth- Is It Worth It?

Hello ladies and gentlemen…

My today’s topic focuses on;

Cultivating A Relationship/Marriage To Acquire Wealth- Is It Worth It?

Yesterday I came across a post on Facebook. This lady was seeking for advice. I was alarmed reading through her post, just from her first two paragraphs. By the third, I was already horrified- the whole write-up sent a cold chill down my spine. No iota sense of self preservation. The lady in question according to her- is currently in a relationship with an ill-tempered man, whom is sadly wealthy. He hits her at will- no matter how trival the offense. He punches her in the face or any other space he sees on her body, uses objects to batter her. The picture of her battered face was right there! Eyes, entire face swollen and disfigured, turning blue/blackish. To my horror! She wasn’t seeking for advice on how to move on speedily or how to report to the authority concerning her safety. She was seeking for advice on how to “endure” the hitting because according to her- “I’m going nowhere- won’t even consider the thought.” she quipped. whoa! I was stunned. What could be the reason for such a stoic stance? Then, I saw it.

This lunatic she has vowed to hang on to- whom treats her like scum is wealthy. He takes her shopping, buys whatever she picks at the malls, boutiques. He credits her accounts each time he beats her. She even deliberately offends him at times- just so that he’d credit her accounts. “Meeting him was the best thing that ever happened to me.”She gushed. She has acquired wealth through her stoical attitude. She called him generous, though mean-spirited and violent.

As I read on- my skin crawled like I just came in contact with a live snake. What-the-heck! I felt so disgusted I could taste it literally in my mouth. What a pity. Furtune hunter- right?Lol! What else is she? Our society is flooded with ladies with this mindset. What pisses me off is- when she’s in there, acquiring “wealth”-

mining this gold behind his backyard, we won’t hear a single complaint- not from her. The day she gets enough, reaches her targets – the play acting starts! She would waltz back into the social media seeking empathy, filling us with stories on how she had endured this same abusive spouse for years because she “loved” him. Busybodies that we mostly are- would spring into action- calling for the spouses head on a platter. That’s if she was alive to tell us about it. If not, it becomes hashtag- #Justice for Mrs A. Uhm… #Justice?

The thing is- I’m not saying it’s right to hit a lady. I don’t subscribe to abuse of any kind. But not all those whining on the social networks- (“he hits me- put me through unspeakable suffering”) deserve our sympathy. Some would’ve become your archenemy if you’d pointed out, they were dating a violent/abusive man. They pretend- it doesn’t matter so long as the money is there and keeps flowing. Later when mission might have been accomplished, then the melodrama.

Ladies, well- none is perfect. I’m aware, neither am I better than the next lady out there but damn it! Riches/money isn’t everything. What about a peaceful life? What about being treated as a human being? What about not being treated like an animal or a slave? What about raising kids in a conducive home? What about not irrevocably damaging your kids due to the trauma of being raised in a malfunctioned home? What about not being reduced to a toy in your home?

It baffles me when people place money above their lives, safety and health. Worshiping money has shredded our values- our common sense. It has been placed above character-dignity. If we don’t retrace our steps, I shudder to think what the future holds for us all.

What’s your thoughts on this topic?

Abusive Relationships 

Hello ladies and gentlemen…

My today’s topic says;

Abusive Relationships 

Anyone in a relationship knows where it pinches. If the relationship is healthy- you feel it just by how contented you’re in it. If it’s in a rocky place, you’re aware. One of the most dangerous aspects of an unhealthy relationship is an abusive partner.

I’ve been told severally that it’s not healthy to be too careful when venturing into a relationship/marriage. “You won’t know by half, your partner’s behavior until you’d began to live together for a considerable period of time.” Agreed. But there ‘re always some telltale signs. We often just turn a blind eye.

An Abusive Partner–  there ‘re several forms of abusive behaviors a partner could exhibit occasionally which shouldn’t be ignored. However, my focus today is on-  physically/verbally abusive partners. The bullies!

Let me explain why I chose those two. Well- they ‘re practically a couple. Lol

A verbally abusive partner to me, is almost as deadly as a physically abusive partner. The only major difference is that the scars aren’t visible unless you prod.  There ‘re some words that could punch one’s psych(Pierce one’s heart), cause more damages than a thunderous slap. A partner can verbally reduce his/her partner to a low self-esteemed shell. Callous words that could hurt harder than a kick on the shin. Sends you reeling into self-doubt until depression sets in.

The thing is- both ladies and gentlemen should avoid/terminate such relationships. No matter the investments- financially/mentally or time wise. At times when we hear “abusive relationship” we wave it off or view men solely as the culprits. Sadly it’s not a gender thing per se. Men- agreed,  ‘ve  higher tendencies of being abusive in a relationship/ marriage. Fact is- some women are abusive too. Theirs rarely come in a physical form though.

It could manifest in a verbal or emotional form.  So it’s paramount to be observant while in a relationship/courtship. Observe how your partner handles issues/ situations, anger,  before taking that crucial step. Don’t rush into marriage because of societal/peer pressure to become part of statistics of domestic violence, that graces the social media daily these days.

If a partner lashes out during a little misunderstanding. We make excuses like; I pushed him/her too far. I said things that got him/her upset. Hmm…mm? Really? A verbally abusive partner could lead his/her partner into suicidal thoughts. No jokes. On the other hand, a physically abusive partner is actually a confirmed bully. There’s no way you’d date and venture into a relationship with a bully without that awful trait rearing it ugly head, once in a while. They often’ve dictatorial nature, mostly possessive, ill-tempered, opinionated, often caring and remorseful after hitting their partner. The chronic ones are quite callous. They don’t give a damn about their partner’s welfare after a fight.

The rate ladies are dying in abusive relationships ‘ve escalated over the years. There’s need to be alert in one’s relationship. No one knows the baggage the other partner is roaming about with undetected. It could be anger issues, trust issues, psychopathic nature, possessiveness or even obsession. At this stage it’s easy to get away-run without a backward glance, once violence tendencies is discovered in a partner. Breaking up a relationship is by far easier- it wouldn’t be that easy when married already, probably with kids.

Now ladies, the truth is-no matter the offense. He has no right to hit you but that doesn’t mean one should goad or dare one’s partner into provocation thoughtlessly during a fight. My humble advice? State your grievances in a mature manner, no point being verbally abusive. Men are human beings too with emotions. Don’t push your partner overboard. But If you are battered in that relationship/marriage regularly then leave. You simply aren’t compatible. Sorry…!

Well- an abusive partner hardly changes without help. It all depends though. Is the “ring” worth the risk?

 

 

 

Is Love Enough?

Hello ladies and gentlemen…

My topic today says;

Is Love Enough?

All through the years I have seen very excited couples to be, turn sworn enemies within months or couple of years down the road. We’ve all seen couples that seemed like a match made in Heaven, only to watch it all crumble at some point. My focus here is on those that actually loved themselves from the onset.

I’ve this personal convictions which are solely mine, of the factors that causes problems, irreconcilable differences and breakups among couples that actually loved themselves, after tieing the knot. Over the years I’ve observed that- it’s  possible to love someone yet disagree with this same person’s values.

Love- to me doesn’t take away one’s senses. It heightens and sharpens them. If one is infatuated it’s a different ball game. You could be carried away by the sizzling passion. But love? NO. Let’s not forget- when you love someone-you get to know them on a different level. Especially if this feeling is reciprocated. You’d know their;  flaws; their weaknesses; you’d know to an extent how his/her mind works. You could predict his/her actions even, at times; you’d know when and what makes him or her angry, happy, sad. Although you’ve  all these knowledge at your fingertips, you still love him/her and would rather be with him/her than another.

Now, let’s say;

  • He/she totally detest your values- you can’t stand lies- you believe in treating people fairly at all times. He/she lies at will and doesn’t give a damn about anyone else.
  • You abhor deceit of any kind- he/she thrives on it.You’re thrift and economical, he/she’s a spendthrift. A lavisher,extreemly extravagant.
  • He/she’s hot-headed.
  • One or both of you’re petty. 
  • You ignore issues to avoid confrontations.
  • He/she’s temperamental. The list goes on.

What am I saying? Now-both of you’ve been in a relationship for a while, the chemistry is there. The love is there, but each of the traits I mentioned has been rearing its ugly head and constantly you ignore it because you’re simply avoiding confrontations. The truth is- when one is in love, he/she’d do anything not to cause his/her partner pain. Even when it leads to confrontation one tends to choose his/her words carefully to avoid hurting his/her partner more than necessary. Now because of this nurturing, all keeps going well. The underlying differences are not treated/tackled, or acknowledged. No definite solution is sort or deviced towards any particular issue.

The thing is- love is a strong feeling of affection and care towards another but it won’t be that intense all through- at a point it becomes a bond of friendship, companionship. It gets to this stage when the partners:-

  • Share similar values
  • Understand each other totally.
  • Relate easily.
  • Respect each other.
  • Empathize with each other.

However, it’s my observation that a couple could still love each other without any of these key ingredients of a healthy relationship. You see where I’m headed? They may ‘ve love, which will undoubtably breed; tolerance, affection, care, forgiveness, patience for a while.

At the point a couple that had love together with the other components of a healthy relationship are headed into a more mature, comfortable state which is a bond of friendship and companionship. Those that had love with the components of an unhealthy relationship begins to tear apart. We get to hear-

  • I thought I loved him/her. Never really knew him/her.
  • We weren’t on the same page. His/her values were wack!
  • We weren’t compatible.
  • He/she never understood me.
  • He/she never respected me.
  • He/she just didn’t get me.

Well- these set could remain friends and still share strong feelings and bonds even after separation/divorce. Most times we wonder why they didn’t just try harder to be together. Some of those attributes of unhealthy relationships that I mentioned above definitely played a part. Those’re the reasons I’m convinced that, love isn’t enough when it comes to marriage. It has its relevance to marriage as I stated in one of my previous posts.  I’m of the opinion that it isn’t nearly enough though.

What’s your view on this topic? Care to share? It could save a future marriage or two. Who knows?